Just for Tonight

59.

The acrid taste of coffee almost burned her throat. She coughed for a long moment, and Perttu immediately entered the room.

"Everything okay, darling?" he asked, concerned.

"Fine," she replied, giving a thumbs-up.

He smiled.

"What time do we leave?" she inquired.

"In a couple of hours. I'll drive you, stay a while, and Migé will take you home, if that's all right with you."

"Perfect, thank you. For everything." She smiled at him, but her voice was off.

"Need to be alone?" he asked again.

"Yes, please. I'm in the middle of some introspection," she laughed weakly.

"How stubborn women can be, dammit," he laughed with her as he left the room. She didn 't have to tell him, but he knew who her introspection was turning to.

She plunged back into her memories. And it was important to her that they be as vivid as possible.

10 months earlier

9 a.m. She'd just landed at Helsinki airport and couldn't help looking to see if, by some chance, Ville hadn't turned up... But no, that was impossible, he hadn't even asked what time she was landing. Her phone rang and she looked at the screen, hopeful. It was her doctor's number.

"Hello, Chloe. Are you back from Paris safely?" he asked gently.

"Yes, I've just arrived. Have you any news about the blood test?" she asked, curious.

"I'd like to discuss it with you. Can you meet me at the hospital immediately?" he asked, still delicately.

"I'll find a cab and be right over." She hung up.

In the cab, her thoughts turned back to Ville. She loved him, with all her heart. That was the first thing she planned to say to him when she got home, as soon as she saw him, tonight or tomorrow. Then she'd take him in her arms and snuggle into his chest. He was her world, her universe, her safe place. She'd tell him that too.

---

Ville paced nervously around the living room, thinking back to their last argument. But was it really an argument? Whatever it was, he hadn't understood, and he was replaying the moment over and over in his mind. That fragment of life frozen in time that had sent him straight to hell.

As soon as the interviews were over, he'd hopped into a cab and headed straight home. He smiled in anticipation: if she were here, he would take her in his arms, tell her he loved her, again and again. He would ask her forgiveness, promise to support her as she had always supported him. They'd adjust their schedules, because in the end, it was all a question of organization. He would bury his face in her hair, breathe in her fruity scent. He'd breathe at last.

10 months earlier

He opened the door to the house, deposited his bags in the hallway and hurried into the living room. There she was, sitting on the sofa, an open envelope in her hand. She barely looked at him, obviously interested in the contents of the envelope. He approached her gently.

"Honey, I have so much to tell you. To be forgiven," he began.

"I suppose you do, Ville," she replied curtly.

He looked at her, confused. She handed him the contents of the envelope.

They were snapshots, showing him and Emy, a few hours earlier. Emy in Ville's arms, Ville's forehead against Emy's, Emy's hands in Ville's.

"How ....," he stammered.

"The envelope had been slipped under our door." Her voice trembled a little.

"Chlo, nothing happened, I promise!" he exclaimed. "Emy was there, she was acting strange by the way. She jumped on my neck and I didn't know what to do," he confessed.

"You know what hurts me most of all?" she asked, holding back tears. "That photo," she added, pointing to the one where Emy and Ville were forehead to forehead. "That gesture, Ville, it's ... ours."

"Chlo, love, she put her forehead against mine, I pulled away as best I could, I don't understand why she did that." He was desperate.

A heavy silence settled between them.

Chloe was the first to speak.

"Raf..." she said softly.

"Raf?". He frowned.

"All this," she said, pointing to the photos now scattered on the table. " This has his signature on it."

Ville thought for a moment. "You're right. Emy has never been to one of my gigs. Why was she here tonight?".

"The photos, even though they're snapshots, are still very well framed: your hands, your foreheads, your faces". She sighed.

"So, do you believe me, honey? I didn't do anything ... Chloe, I wanted to come here, find you and ask your forgiveness for not supporting you like you've always supported me." He wanted to take her in his arms, but she backed away gently.

"Ville ... I too wanted to see you and talk to you. You know, sometimes life gives you a message. If you don't understand it the first time, it sends you another, and then another...". She paused, searching for words.

"What are you trying to tell me, Chlo?" he asked, taking her hands in his.

"Ville," she replied softly. "These photos will soon be in the press. And for me, it comes at a very bad time. I need, for once in my life, to be completely selfish. There's too much going on at the moment, and I need to look after only myself, with no other worries."

Ville's hands trembled in hers. She was so calm, so determined.

"Chlo, no ...". His voice broke.

"Beautiful, I want you to understand. I love you, but we're not meant to be together. You once told me that our love was demanding. Unfortunately, it's become too demanding. I can't do it anymore, Ville". She stood up, grabbed her purse.

"Where are you going, Chlo? You're running away, again... You promised, honey, you swore". Ville felt the tears roll down his cheeks.

"I'm not running away, Ville. I'm giving up, that's different."

"Because of those damned photos?". He couldn't believe it.

"Because of the way our lives have turned out. This weird life ...". She took a deep breath. Damn, this was hard.

"So you let life win. She's been relentless against us, we've always stood up, together...". He'd run out of arguments at her firm yet unreadable expression.

"It's over, Ville. Definitely this time." She smiled sadly.

"Where are you going? I want to know, honey," he asked in his voice, even deeper and more profound than usual. That voice she loved so much.

"Temporarily to Migé. After that, I don't know. But Ville, if you really love me, if our story really means something to you, don't try to contact me, to see me again. We would end up hating each other if you insisted. Respect my decision, my choice".

She headed for the front door, turned one last time to the man in her life.

"I wish you happiness. I wish you to keep your heart open. Goodbye, Beautiful".