Just for Tonight

61.

She felt surrounded and was infinitely grateful to have such good friends. Migé had welcomed her with open arms, despite his sadness. His disbelief. Perttu had done the same. Strangely, she felt safe. Another memory emerged and she let it float freely to the surface.

Eight months earlier.

"Chloe, you can't leave him out of this!". Migé raised his voice. Perttu agreed.

"I'm not asking for your opinion. So, do you accept my proposal?". Her voice was firm, her eyes shining with impatience.

Migé sighed. "I don't understand why you won't talk to him. Your unspoken words have often been at the root of your break-ups...".

"Migé ... we've broken up. There, it's done, it's said."

"But why? And why now?". He couldn't understand her.

She weighed her words, and resumed in a softened voice.

"I can't selfishly keep Ville by my side when so many people are counting on the, artist. Ville's world is his music. Eventually, love. But illness ... is absolutely none of it. To have him by my side ...". She sighed, then continued. "I'll always be worried about how he handles things. If he can keep it together. If he's able to keep the focus on his career... If he's still a storyteller."

Migé felt overwhelmed by her simple words. She was right, and deep down he knew it. Perttu nodded: "I'm not going to speak for Migé, but I'm in. I'm here with you, 100%".

"I'm with you too, darling," Migé sighed. 

"I remind you of the conditions. He must never know about the illness. He mustn't know I live at Perttu's - he'll come to you, Migé, and I don't want ... us to cross paths. If he asks questions, you tell him only about my work and my obligations. I don't want him to feel guilty about the photos with Emy. Put the blame, in a way, on me: I'm selfish, I preferred my career to my relationship with him."

"Chlo, that's so harsh and ... unfair. And so far from reality." Migé felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"Migé, bro ... Stop this immediately", she whispered, moved in her turn. She knew she was asking a lot of them. But she had no choice.

"And now," she continued with a forced smile, "I need my two favorite hairdressers."

She handed them the hair trimmer. Perttu grabbed it, while Migé sobbed.

"Let's go, sweetie", Perttu said softly.

She took a deep breath.

---

Now

This long morning of reflection had been different from the others. A few pieces of the puzzle had finally found their place in his mind, but there was still one missing. And he knew who to go to to get that piece.

He dressed hastily. Migé was going to talk, whether he liked it or not. He made his way through the cold streets of Helsinki.

His friend opened the door for him.

" Ville?", he exclaimed, surprised. He saw the determination in his eyes. This was going to be a difficult discussion.

Ville gently pushed Migé aside and entered. He took a seat on the sofa.

"Now I want you to answer me honestly. Where is she?".

Migé hesitated. "She's on a book tour".

"And where's that, Migé?", Ville asked, raising his voice. 

"Let it go, Dude. I can't tell you. Don't put me in an impossible situation".

Ville stood up abruptly, grabbed his friend by the shoulders without gentleness and pushed him roughly against the wall.

"Stop lying!" Ville screamed through clenched teeth, eyes darting at Migé with ferocious intensity. "I follow her on social networks, you know very well that her tour has been suspended. So now you're going to tell me where Chloe is."

Migé's voice broke, almost into a desperate whisper. "I can't, Ville... I can't."

Ville's face hardened. His fists clenched and his knuckles whitened under the weight of his anger. He raised a fist, inches from his friend's face.

"Talk, or I swear, I'll hit you until you answer me. And believe me, you'll end up talking." 

Migé's defenses collapsed. He slid slowly down the wall, defeated, tears sliding silently down his cheeks.

Ville knelt down in front of him. At last, he would know.

"Ville," Migé began softly. "I'll tell you where she is now, but first, I want you to listen to the whole story without interrupting me. Can you promise me that? ".

Ville nodded.

"A few months ago, Chloe called me one evening. She had just left your house and seemed upset. I welcomed her here, and she told me all about it. She ... I don't know how to tell you this delicately, so I'm going," he said, pressing his friend's hand in his own. "Chloe's sick. She found out when she got back from Paris. It's ... really serious, Ville, and she may not make it." 

Ville had paled suddenly.

"Oh, Migé ..." he tried to say.

Migé raised his hand, signaling that he would continue.

"Right now, she's in hospital. Perttu took her for her chemotherapy, and I have to pick her up in a few hours. Keep in mind that she had only one idea in mind: to spare you her illness. Chloe only ever wanted one thing: to protect you. She fought like a lioness for the first few months. Chemo is violent. After the first cycle, the doctor repeated the tests, and the tumor hadn't shrunk. I think she got discouraged... She's on a new protocol, which makes her even sicker, but she doesn't believe in it anymore. She's ... given up".

Migé's voice broke, and Ville sobbed softly.

"I want to see her, Migé", he managed to say.

Migé nodded.

"Before that, I need to explain what you're about to see. She has no hair, no eyebrows. She's just skin and bones, and it seems as if she's disappearing a little more every day. Her body is ... evanescent, I have no other words. However, if you go to see her... you mustn't break down in front of her. If you go to see her, Ville, it's to stay by her side, right to the end. Do you understand what that means? ". Migé looked deep into the eyes of the man he considered a brother.

"Yes, I understand." His voice was a whisper. He finally had this last piece of the puzzle. Everything, absolutely everything, had been answered.

"It's also out of the question for her appearance to scare you away. She's not her disease, she's Chloe. Your soul mate. Look deep into her eyes and you'll see, she's still there, still very present. Weakened, but present".

"Take me to her, Migé," he begged.

"First, let your tears come. Scream, yell, let off steam. That's what I did, and so did Perttu. When you've dried your tears, they must flow no more, and especially not in front of her. Only then will we take her back from the hospital together. Oh boy, she's going to kill me...", he tried to smile.

Ville finally allowed himself to break down. He screamed like he'd never screamed before. He kicked the couch cushions with all his strength. He screamed her name. He cried like a child in Migé's arms.

When he had no more tears, he looked at his friend. "Let's go," he said in a calmer tone.

At the hospital, Migé let him enter the room alone, and joined Perttu who, as so often, had trouble leaving before Migé arrived to take over.

"Ville is here", Migé announced simply. Perttu nodded.