Arranged Love (Jelena)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

Justin's POV

"It's coming up." Jazzy spoke quietly, looking out the window of the café.

I sucked in a breath.

"Ten days." I answered her looking down at my coffee.

"When are you going to tell her?"

My head flew up.

"You're going to have to tell her Justin."

"I know. I just don't...it's so hard to talk about it."

"Maybe she'll help you." I doubt it. No one can help me. 

"When do you think I should tell her?"

"Today. The longer you take, the harder it'll be. You know how you get around this time."

"Fine. I'll tell her today."

"Do you want me to be there? For moral support."

"No it's okay. Thank you."

"Anytime big brother."

I cracked a smile at her. "I should get going. Do you need a drop?"

"Nope. Jax is picking me up."

I nodded and stood up. "Okay. Take care."

"Good luck."

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Selena's POV

"I need to tell you something." Justin said after we put Jason to bed.

"Okay. What is it?"

He didn't say anything, instead he grabbed my hand and took me downstairs, stopping in front if the door he had told me never to go into.

He leaned against the door inhaling deeply with his eyes closed, still holding my hand.

"Justin are you okay?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

He moved his head off the door and looked at me, his hazel eyes holding so much pain and sadness that it made my heart ache for him.

He shook his head no but placed his hand, that wasn't holding mine, on the doorknob anyway.

"Justin," I said making him turn his attention to me. "You don't have to tell me. I understand if it's too hard for you."

I didn't want him to feel like he had to tell me just because we were making this marriage work.

"I want to." He replied giving my hand a small squeeze. With that said he opened the door.

We took a step into the room. I looked around seeing lots and lots of pictures of a woman.

"She's my mom." He whispered. There were tons of them, family pictures, her and Justin's dad, her with her kids, her with friends and family and her by herself. 

She was in each and every one of the pictures. There was a bed in the corner of the room, along with a closet, a TV and a DVD player.

Justin led me over to the bed and sat on it. He picked up the picture that was on the nightstand and stared at it, a painful smile etched into his features.

Finally he placed it down and turned to me. 

"This was her room." He began. "Out of the three of us kids, I was the closest to her. She would spend a lot of her time here, with me, than she ever did with my father. He was always working. When I moved in, she decided this would be her room. She had extra clothes here, her perfumes and make up, whatever she needed, so she would never have to pack a bag. She hated packing." He laughed a little.

"She was the one person that meant the world to me. We'd have so much fun together. She was the one person that I'd drop everything for. But then I lost her, because of that bastard." He let out a shaky breath and I scooted closer to him as he squeezed my hand a little more.

"He couldn't drive yet. He was still learning to. Hell he couldn't even make it up the driveway properly. He got drunk at home, I still don't know how or why, but it was bad. I had taken Jazzy to the mall that day with her friends so I wasn't there and Dad was at work. I remember coming home with Jaz to see the house completely trashed. A neighbor who had witnessed everything explained what happened. Apparently he was a mess, a violent mess and he got into the driver's seat of my mom's car. She ran in after him trying to get him out. But he didn't listen to her. She was crying and begging him to get out but he wouldn't listen. He stepped on the gas and drove the car straight into the fucking house. Concrete collapsed on the car and killed her. She died on the spot and he got away with a few broken bones. He fucking killed her and I hate him for it!" There were tears running down his face but he wanted to finish so I let him.

"I saw her body, she was crushed. And there was so much blood. Sometimes I still get nightmares about it. She didn't deserve to die. She didn't. After that everything just went downhill. I got depressed. I locked myself here and I refused to do anything. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to die too. My life just seemed pointless. She meant everything to me and she was gone. Her funeral was the hardest. Because of the state her body was in, the kept the coffin closed. I couldn't say anything. Eventually I just numbed everything. I used sleeping pills and alcohol for that. Eventually I decided that I had enough and I overdosed on the pills. But Jazmyn found me and took me to the hospital. When I woke up she was crying so bad. It broke my heart to see her like that. She said she had already lost mom, she couldn't lose me too. She told me mom wouldn't want to see me like that. And she was right. That was kind of a wake up call. I got my shit together. I drowned my grief in work until I eventually learned to live with it. Just, around her anniversary I get down in the dumps and stuff. Her anniversary is in ten days, just a warning. It's just so hard for me because it's just another year that she could have been with us. I hate Jaxon for taking her away from me. The first few months after it happened, I couldn't even look at him. Now he's tolerable but he gets under my skin and he knows how I feel about him. I know he's my brother but at the same time I physically cannot look at him as that." He released my hand and put his elbows on this knees, burying his head in his hands. 

"I miss her so much." He said and I knew he was crying.

My heart ached for him. I wanted to say something to comfort him but I didn't know what.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me and he buried his head into the crook of my neck, his arms wrapping around me. 

"It's okay, let it all out." I cooed, moving my hand from his head down his back over and over like I do with Jason whenever he was crying. 

Eventually his sobs turned to sniffles as he calmed himself down.

He removed his arms from around me and I allowed mine to drop. He turned his head away from me and swiped his sleeve across his face to remove some of his tears.

"I'm sorry for...uhm...you know....crying on you." He apologized playing with his fingers, his eyes anywhere but me.

"Justin look at me." I said softly. He hesitated but did so eventually. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay to cry." 

He nodded and I reached my hand up, wiping away what was left of his tears.

"Thank you for telling me." 

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I don't know how I feel about this but I hope it was good and that you like it.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading!