Mi Appartieni

Chapter Nine

         Everything felt like a fever dream. Nothing felt real. Joshua couldn't believe what was happening. He was only here to spread his mother's ashes. It was supposed to be an emotional yet normal few days. And now... well now he's looking up at a private jet getting ready to take him to Rome.

Seokmin was talking to the pilot as they prepared to board. Several bodyguards stood by, waiting patiently. 

When Seokmin asked him what he would like to see, Joshua panicked and said the first thing that came to mind, which was the capital of Italy. Seokmin didn't hesitate. He made a single phone call and just an hour later they were preparing to set off.

The biggest thing that weighed heavily on him was why. Why the hell was Seokmin doing this for him? Joshua intruded on his land and now Seokmin was showing him so much... so much... kindness. Joshua looks down. He wasn't worth this. He didn't deserve any of this.

"You're pathetic, Joshua. No one will ever love you. You're lucky I barely do."

Joshua squeezes his eyes shut as he remember's that voice. His voice. The voice that brought back horrible memories he wanted to forget and never waste even a second of his time on ever again.

No. Joshua takes a few deep breaths. He escaped that person a long time ago. He's been free for years. But the memories still left a nasty scar. 

"Joshua." Joshua opens his eyes and looks up. He sees Seokmin standing over him with a new look on his face. This was unmistakably the face of concern. "Are you alright?"

Joshua clears his throat, trying his best to forget about those haunting memories that he's tried so hard to heal from. "Y-Yes. I just... isn't this too much, Mr. Lee? You don't have to do all of this for me." "I would want nothing more than to do this for you." 

Joshua pauses as he looks up at Seokmin's face, trying to find the lie. There has to be. No one would want to do this for someone like him.

"Come on, Joshua." Seokmin motions for him to get on the jet. Joshua can't do anything but obey. His feet shakily carry him to the stairs. 

Seokmin watches him with that same look of concern and confusion. He can tell something was bothering him. He knew it was too soon for Joshua to confide in him though. All Seokmin could do was give Joshua anything he wanted in hopes of seeing that smile.

**

Joshua had plenty of time to calm himself while on the jet. He did his best to push the painful memories that haunted him to the back of his head. With time and a lot of deep breathing, the panic that threatened to envelop him was pushed away.

Now, Joshua was looking around in awe. He never thought he would see anything quite as amazing as the buildings and architecture that Rome had to offer. Pictures and videos didn't do this country and city justice. It was absolutely beautiful. Joshua had to admit... he was excited to be here.

Seokmin's mood was much better as well. Whatever it was that was bothering Joshua seemed to be dissipating. 

Seokmin watched as Joshua's eyes remained big, his mouth open slightly as he looked around in amazement. This is why Seokmin does what he does, to see Joshua's face light up in joy. That's all he wanted... all he needed.

The first stop was the Colosseum. It amused Seokmin that Joshua was just going off of what he knew as a tourist. It didn't matter. Seokmin would take him anywhere he wanted to go. 

The two, accompanied by a hefty amount of bodyguards, walked the Colosseum. Joshua admires nearly every stone and pebble, taking it all in.

The two don't exchange many words. Seokmin just watches as Joshua's face continues to light up at every new sight. And for Joshua, he was slowly with each passing moment beginning to feel more and more at ease.