Mi Appartieni

Chapter Twenty-Two

         Joshua continues to lay on the ground in disbelief. All of his emotions were bubbling up inside of him. Everything was worth it. The pain in his back from being slammed into the ground, the rip in his pants, bleeding knee and the fact that he was almost just hit by a car. 

None of it mattered. All that mattered now was that Joshua knew. He knew now. Seokmin was alive. And he had been watching over Joshua probably since he returned from Italy.

The bodyguard quickly stands up and goes to hurry away like he had done every time before. Joshua gasps and reaches over, catching his pant leg. "Wait!" Joshua yells frantically as he tries his best to hold on tightly.

The bodyguard was obviously much stronger than Joshua and rips his leg out of his grasp. He goes to run away again but Joshua shouts after him, "I'll find another way to hurt myself!" 

The bodyguard stops dead in his tracks. He slowly turns back to face Joshua who finally manages to stand up with his shaky legs.

"I have dozens of other ideas. I could go for a walk in a bad neighborhood at night. I could pick a fight at a dive bar. I could jump out of my apartment window. I'm only on the second floor. It won't kill me but it'll mess me up badly. How do you think your boss would react if I got hurt under your watch?"

The bodyguard's eyes go wide in fear. Joshua knows he's crazy. He knows he's acting ridiculous. But what else could he do? This was the only connection he had to Seokmin. He had to take advantage of it.

The bodyguard hesitates as he stands there with his shoulders tense, his fists clenched tightly. "What do you want?" Joshua sighs in relief. He knew that for once, he had the upper hand.

"I want you to get a message to your boss. From me." The bodyguard still looks tense but he doesn't protest. He knows he can't. He knows there's nothing he can do but comply. 

"If I pass this message along, will you stop getting yourself into trouble?" "Intentionally, yes." The guard sighs in defeat. "What is it?"

There were so many things Joshua wanted to say to Seokmin. There was an infinite amount of words that needed to be spoken. How was he going to pick and choose what he wanted to say? How was he going to decide which ones would be the first ones Seokmin heard from him after all this time?

"How are you?" No that's stupid.

"I like you." No that needed to be said in person.

Something dings inside Joshua's head. He knows.

Joshua meets the bodyguards eyes. He has a look on his face that's a mix of anger for being caught and fear for what Joshua will do to himself if he doesn't comply.

"Come." The guard looks confused but Joshua is stern, looking as if he's never been so sure about anything in his life. "Tell him... come." 

The bodyguard doesn't say anything after that. All he does, all he can do, is turn on his heel and disappear as quickly as he had appeared.

Joshua is left standing there, his heart still in his throat as a mixture of emotions envelop him. 

He was scared that the bodyguard wouldn't comply and pass along the message in fear of what Seokmin will do for getting caught. He was nervous that if even after receiving the message, Seokmin will ignore him. And he was excited and... happy at the idea, the small possibility, that Seokmin would receive his message, and grant his wish.

**

Joshua didn't know what he expected. He didn't know what would happen next. It had been a week since his message was given to the bodyguard. Joshua thought that if anything were to happen, it would have happened already.

Maybe the guard didn't comply. Maybe he kept what happened between them a secret in fear of what Seokmin would do to him for getting caught. 

Joshua really didn't want to keep getting himself into trouble but if that's what it took to draw out the little connection he had to Seokmin, then he would keep doing it. It was the only power he had between him and Seokmin.

It was Halloween. Joshua was at Seungcheol and Jeonghan's house for their annual costume party. He really didn't want to go. He just wanted to stay home and hope and pray for something... anything to happen. He wanted and needed any sign of Seokmin to present itself. 

Jeonghan wouldn't take no for an answer though. He knew Joshua needed some fun and wouldn't rest until a smile was on his friend's face.

Joshua was in a chef costume, something simple that was easy to take apart when he got home. He didn't want to go all out with heavy face makeup and spend the rest of his night washing it off.

Although, maybe he should have done a little more. The house was crowded with so many people and all of them seemed to have gone overboard with their costumes. Joshua is sure they were mostly people trying to impress someone as powerful at Seungcheol though.

He was pouring himself a drink when a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist from behind. Joshua gasps as the person lifts him up with ease and turns him around. The person plops him down in front of Jeonghan, dressed as a vampire, who had been standing behind them.

Joshua looks to see the one who had lift him up was Seungcheol. Joshua can't help but laugh. "What was that?" Seungcheol wraps his arms round Jeonghan's waist, "Just delivering a special package to my darling." Joshua snorts.

Seungcheol was either buzzed or drunk. He was usually a very stoic, serious person. Only rarely did he let his cute, expressive side show and it was only reserved for Jeonghan or anything to do with Jeonghan. 

"And it's the best package I could ever receive." Jeonghan says as he kisses Seungcheol's cheek. Seungcheol whacks his arm in embarrassment.

"Spend some time with your other love." Seungcheol jokes, "I suppose I should talk to some of these morons trying to pitch me their next greatest idea." Jeonghan nods. Seungcheol kisses Jeonghan's forehead before leaving the two of them.

Joshua looks to his friend with a smile but it falters slightly. Jeonghan is watching after Seungcheol with an unmistakably sad expression. 

"Hannie?" Jeonghan snaps his gaze back to Joshua and quickly puts on a different expression. Right away Joshua can tell its fake. A fake smile.

"I like your costume. You're a chef. Do you have a rat under your hat?" Jeonghan chuckles, trying to make light conversation to distract Joshua. 

Joshua sighs, he can see right through his friend. He always could. "Hannie." Joshua says more seriously, "Are you okay?" Jeonghan scoffs, trying his best to act like everything was fine. "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

Joshua looks at Jeonghan with an expression that says 'do you think I'm an idiot?' Jeonghan sighs. He knows he won't be able to escape Joshua's knowing gaze. "I can never fool you, can I?"

Joshua shakes his head, "What's going on, Hannie?" Jeonghan looks around for a moment before grabbing Joshua's hand and guiding him through the crowd. The two end up in an empty bathroom, away from all the noise and people.

Jeonghan sighs as he takes out his fake vampire teeth. "Shua, I think Seungcheol is cheating on me."