Mi Appartieni

Chapter Thirteen

         I like you. I like you. I like you. Joshua keeps repeating the words in his head, unable to wrap his mind around them. The words felt like they weighed a thousand kilograms on his chest. Joshua was finding it difficult to breathe. 

How? How could this be? How could someone like Seokmin, with all the power and money in the world, like someone as pathetic as him?

It seemed impossible. It was impossible. He didn't deserve affection or love or anything kind in this world. 

Joshua moves this chin out of Seokmin's soft touch and hangs his head, closing his eyes tightly, as if that would make everything go away.

On the other hand, Seokmin feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. He feels a sense of completeness having told Joshua about the feelings that have been hovering over him since Joshua first looked up at him with those eyes.

"That's why you're special, Joshua." Seokmin continues, unaware of the turmoil burning in Joshua. "That's why you're important. That's why I've been doing what I'm doing."

Everything was starting to make sense to Joshua. Why Seokmin spared him, why he's been treating him with such kindness, why he's been treating him with such speciality. It made sense and answered all of Joshua's burning questions, but on the other hand, it made no sense at all. Seokmin... likes him?

"No." Joshua breathes, barely above a whisper. Seokmin goes rigid. "Y-You can't. You must be mistaken." Joshua meets Seokmin's eyes, tears threatening to spill out. "No one could ever like me. You're wrong. Very, very wrong." Seokmin's eyes go dark. He feels his fists clench.

"I don't know what happened in your past that made you think this way about yourself, Joshua. But I vow, I will destroy anything and anyone who made you feel this way. You deserve the world. And I will give it to you."

Joshua shakes his head as he steps back, trying to put distance between him and Seokmin. "Mr. Lee-" "Seokmin." Seokmin says with a low tone as he steps toward Joshua, not letting him create distance between them. "You always call me Mr. Lee. Call me Seokmin."

The tears stream down Joshua's face. "I-I don't deserve anything. It's impossible. Especially for someone like you toward someone like me." 

"I am not perfect. But you most certainly are." "No!" Joshua says more loudly, his eyes squeezing tight again. "You're lying! I'm nothing! You don't like me! You can't!"

Seokmin doesn't think twice. He immediately wraps his arms around Joshua and holds him tight, trying to comfort him as the panic envelops him. 

Joshua fights against Seokmin's grasp. It was suffocating but at the same time, it was warm. It was offering him comfort but Joshua knew he couldn't accept that warmth and comfort. He didn't deserve it.

Seokmin only held tighter as Joshua fought against him. "You don't. It's impossible." Joshua breathes out through sad sobs. 

He was struggling against Seokmin, but at the same time, he never wanted him to let go. He's never felt comfort and warmth like this, not even from Jeonghan. Seokmin was different and that just proves even more to Joshua that he didn't deserve it.

Seokmin looks over Joshua's head as he holds him tight, slowly feeling Joshua relax and accept the embrace.

"I won't rest until you understand, Joshua. I won't breathe until you see just how special and important you are. Not just to me, but to the world. I will put you back together piece by piece. I will stay by your side, even if you push me away. I like you Joshua. And I will be patient. I will wait as long as it takes for you to accept and believe that you are deserving of love and affection."