Mi Appartieni

Chapter Eleven

       Seokmin could see it even if Joshua tried his best to hide it. He wanted to pretend that last night never happened. It wasn't that Joshua was repulsed by the fact that they had slept all night holding each other. It wasn't that Joshua hated it. It was that he was embarrassed.

Seokmin didn't dare push him. He would do anything for Joshua, including pretending that last night was just a fleeting moment. On the other hand, Seokmin never wanted to forget.

He had never gotten such an amazing night sleep before. He had never slept so soundly, so deeply before. And it was because he had Joshua in his arms. Seokmin isn't sure he would ever be able to sleep again without him. It was the standard now. And it terrified him.

Inside Joshua, there was something burning in him. He was embarrassed, yes, and didn't want to talk about last night. But embarrassment wasn't what was holding him back from talking about it. It was the fact that Joshua slept more soundly in Seokmin's arms than he has in his whole life, even when he was with Jeonghan. 

Joshua was so confused over what the hell it was that was happening inside him, completely unaware that Seokmin's feelings almost perfectly matched his.

Joshua insisted that they continue with what they had planned, wanting to put last night behind them. Seokmin was concerned for Joshua, suggesting they go back to the estate in Sicily but Joshua was adamant that he was fine. Seokmin of course granted his wishes. He always would.

The two made it to Tuscany, walking in a comfortable silence through the grape vines at a beautiful winery with Mingyu and a few of Seokmin's bodyguards close behind. 

Joshua sipped his wine, trying his best to not think about last night. How was it he had gotten such a good night sleep? How was that possible after having a nightmare? Joshua knew it was because of Seokmin, but he wasn't ready to admit that.

Seokmin breaks the silence. "Did you alert Jeonghan about your whereabouts for the day?" Joshua nods, "I did. He took the news a lot better since I warned him first." Seokmin nods, "Good. So no interruptions today." Seokmin says it lightly, as if making a joke.

Joshua grips the wineglass tightly. He knows it was a joke. Seokmin was trying to make him feel better. Joshua needs to change the subject. He remembers how he was planning on asking Seokmin a few questions; some of the questions that had been burning in his brain the last few nights.

Joshua downs the rest of his wine. "M-Mr. Lee." Seokmin looks at Joshua as they continue to walk. Joshua takes a deep breath, gathering the courage and hoping he doesn't anger Seokmin. "Why are you being so kind to me?" Seokmin feels his eyes widen ever so slightly at the question.

He wasn't expecting Joshua to ask him something like that. He faces forward as Mingyu fills Joshua's wine glass. Joshua accepts the new glass of a different wine. Seokmin had paid for a wide variety of rare wines for them to enjoy.

"What do you mean by kind?" Seokmin asks, buying time to find his words of explanation. Joshua is confused at the question. He takes another big sip of the wine. 

"I-I mean, you could have killed me when I was on your land, but you showed me mercy. You insisted I stay with you, saying it will be safer for me, and you're taking me around Italy. I just... why?"

Seokmin takes a deep breath. He knows he can't reveal everything yet. Not when Joshua was in a vulnerable state. 

"Because you're special, Joshua." "Special?" "Yes. You're kind, honest and genuine. I'm treating you with kindness because I want to. Because I think you deserve it." Joshua looks down.

He wanted to believe Seokmin's words. He deserved it? He deserved to stay in a luxurious Sicilian villa and be taken on personal tours of Rome and Tuscany? He deserved to be treated with kindness?