Mi Appartieni

Chapter Nineteen

        More sleepless nights chase Joshua in the following days. It was nothing new to him and now, he's sure his body has gotten used to running on the bare minimum amount of sleep.

Joshua was in the living room again in the usual spot he took when he gave up on the bed at night. He had the tv on a low volume just for background noise as he looked out to the city lights. 

He tries to think about he and Jeonghan's shopping date scheduled for tomorrow but he can't stop his mind from wondering to dark places. He always replays the same memory in his head.

The bullet pierces into Seokmin's side and Joshua can't do anything but watch as he collapses to the cold, hard marble. Nothing makes him stir, not even Joshua calling out his name in desperation.

Joshua leans his head back with a deep exhale. If he was going to think about Seokmin, then he at least wished the nice memories would fill his head. 

Like when Seokmin held him closely as they slept. Like when he would brush stray strands of hair out of Joshua's face. Anything. Any other memory than the one that kept haunting him.

"Police are still on the search for the suspect involved in the murder of a Seaport resident that occurred earlier this week." Joshua's attention is brought toward the tv that was broadcasting the news.

"On Monday afternoon just a few miles short from the North End, a Seaport resident was murdered in broad daylight yet there were no witnesses. Police say they're having difficulty gathering any evidence at all, saying the perpetrator was careful in cleaning up after themselves."

Joshua feels his eyes go wide. His breath hitches in his throat. The picture they show on the screen of the murdered man was someone that Joshua recognizes. 

It was the customer that he mistook for Seokmin. The one who had shoved Joshua aside in annoyance at the mistake in identity. He immediately reaches for the remote and turns off the tv.

Joshua takes a deep breath. Even though he didn't know the man it was still shocking to see that someone that he had spoken to was murdered. And right near his neighborhood at that.

Joshua sighs and stands up. He makes his way to the kitchen and pours a glass of water. He has to make a point to be more careful when walking around from now on, especially at night. 

Joshua makes his way back into the bedroom to see if any semblance of sleep could come his way.

**

Joshua and Jeonghan, followed by one of Seungcheol's bodyguards, make their way through the department store for their shopping date. The two had stopped for lunch first and Joshua allowed himself a few drinks. He knew he needed to loosen up a little bit with everything going on.

He was the perfect amount of buzzed but not drunk as he and Jeonghan walked hand in hand through the store, trying to decide where to go first. 

Joshua needed this. A giggly, tipsy, happy afternoon with his best friend to just escape all of his twisted thoughts and feelings was very therapeutic.

"Oh, here." Jeonghan says as he pulls Joshua into a store, "They have autumn clothes, maybe we can find you a similar cardigan to the one you were talking about." "Okay." Joshua chuckles at Jeonghan's very slightly slurred speech.

Jeonghan helps Joshua pick out a few sets of new outfits that he liked even better than the clothes he lost. They found a similar cardigan and while it wasn't the same one that had become Joshua's favorite, he was happy to have a similar replacement.

It took longer than it should have, but Joshua convinces Jeonghan to let him pay for his own clothes. Seungcheol was the one who gave Joshua the loan to start his own cafe and he pays for the rent on his apartment. He can't have he and Jeonghan pay for everything for him.

Joshua knows Seungcheol has more money than he knows what to do with but Joshua never wants them to think he's taking advantage. 

Jeonghan always says he's family but Joshua was determined to not let them do everything for him. He did let Jeonghan pay for the cardigan though since he had bought him the previous one.

Joshua is crouched down, organizing his things when Jeonghan taps his shoulder, "Shua I'm going to go to the restroom." "Okay." Joshua says and goes back to organizing as Jeonghan is followed by his bodyguard toward the restroom.

Joshua tries his best to condense the clothes so there's less bags to carry when something catches his eye out of his peripheral. He turns his head and sees a man dressed in all black with a face mask staring at him.

The man steps behind a wall the second Joshua looks at him. Joshua's lips part slightly. What the hell was that? He thinks in confusion. 

He stands up and quickly makes his way over to where the man had been.

He peeks around the wall but there's no one there. Joshua sighs and rubs his eyes. He could have sworn he saw someone staring at him just now. No, he definitely did. 

Joshua shakes his head. It must be nothing. Maybe it was someone who thought they recognized him? Yeah. That was probably it.

**

Joshua brings his shopping bags into his apartment and takes them into his bedroom. He didn't bring a lot of clothes with him to Italy since he was only there for a week so there wasn't much he had to replace. 

It was nice to have a few new options though and he'll never say no to spending an afternoon with his best friend.

Joshua opens up his closet and starts hanging the clothes up. He's methodical with making sure there are no creases in the shirts as the go on the hangers. He moves a few items aside inside the closet to make room and when he does something catches his attention.

Hung up neatly in his closet... is his favorite cardigan. The one Jeonghan had got him. Joshua stares at it with wide eyes. He feels frozen, his heart pounding in his chest. 

What the hell was happening? Joshua knows he took this cardigan to Italy. He was wearing it when he and Seokmin were in Tuscany. He remembers almost spilling red wine on it.

With shaking hands, Joshua pulls the cardigan out of the closet and stares at it as if it was going to spontaneously combust any second.

When Seungcheol pulled him out of Seokmin's house they didn't stop for anything, not even Joshua's passport. They just went straight to Seungcheol's private jet. How could this be here? How is it possible?

Joshua puts the cardigan back. He must be mistaken. He must be remembering things wrong. Maybe he didn't bring it to Italy. Maybe he was wearing a different cardigan while in Tuscany. 

Yes. There's always a logical explanation for everything. Joshua mustn't have brought it to Italy. That must be it... right?