I don't feel like myself

Remembered Trauma

I can feel them violate me
But my childish mind couldn't comprehend
Morbid curiosity fills their minds
Uncaring for how I would turn out in the future
They touch my skin and it makes it crawl
But as I grew older the stain they left
The scars they've left on my skin
Twisted the way I saw love and bonds
It makes me ill
It makes me want to claw my own skin
Until the sickness they've given me is replaced
By my blood and agony
I scream I cry I beg not to remember
You made me forget but it was too late
They've already tainted me with their filthy hands
With hands that saw nothing but filth also covers
You, but I didn't know how else to show my love
I feel sick to the point where I can take a blade to my skin and not feel a thing
The one who listened , my doctor made me understand that what they've done to me is unforgivable and disgusting. But the damage has been done unto me and then unto you. I wish I could kill the child I was before I met you, maybe then you wouldn't have bled for someone who didn't deserve anything