I don't feel like myself

I cast away everything

I hope I have enough courage to finally rest
Before the year ends so everyone could move to the new year without the grief and sorrow I bring

If I'm still alive, the cycle will just continue. The self loathing and self hate for not being able to hold onto the things I want and love

Even after everything I still hold hope of us in the future. But it's not good for my heart anymore, the pain the waiting and the longing. It hurts to be the only one that feels this way

Does your heart ache like mine when you think of what we could've been?

I don't know, I just want to rest