Hindi ko namalayan ang mga luha kong tumulo na pala. I can't help but to cry. I was young that time. I don't know what to do with my life anymore kaya ko nagawa yun. Nawala sakin lahat-lahat. And now, I can't help but to wonder why I am saved.
Habang nakatulala ako, may naramdaman akong balahibo sa tabi ko. I was surprised when I saw Dione's cat. It was laying beside me. Nang lumingon ako, nandoon na si Dione sa tabi habang may hawak na.. gitara.
“What the he.ll,sinusundan mo talaga ako no?” mahinang usal ko habang natatawa. He just look at me then he began to strum his guitar.
“ Nobody knows, just why we're here” pag uumpisa niya sa pagkanta
“Could it be fate or random circumstance?” Pagkanta niya habang may nakakalokong ngisi siyang napatingin sa akin
“At the right place, at the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives, to make us fuel and fire
Then know wherever you will be
So too, shall I be”
The cold wind is singing with him. Ang ganda ng boses niya ang siyang tangi kong naririnig sa buong dalampasigan. Napangiti ako habang siya naman ay nakapikit ang mata habang kumakanta.
“ Close your eyes, dry your tears
'Cause when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart, you'll be safe here...”
Kung sino talaga yung hindi ko inaasahan, siya pa yung dumating. I'm grateful that he's here by my side. He help me to feel at ease. He saved me. He constantly do. Without him knowing.
“ Wag ka umiyak diyan, ang pang!t m0 tignan” sabi niya sabay abot sakin ng delight and fries. He knew that this is my favorite?
“Why are you here Dione?” takang tanong ko sakanya. He was just staring at the sea while petting his cat
“I came here for a reason” He said then he look at me
Until now, I can't believe his here. Beside me. I'm just eating the fries he gave me, still thinking how and why am I saved.
“Anyway, why did you gave me a bunch of fries earlier?”
“Why? You didn't like it?”
“Hindi naman, nagulat lang ako eh. Tapos di ka namamansin din kanina”
“Does it hurt you?”
“Ang alin?”
He didn't answer me. He just stare at me. Deeply.
“Nothing, why are you here anyway?”
“Eh? Hindi ba dapat ako ang nagtatanong niyan sayo?”
Ewan ko rin sa taong 'to e. Hindi ko maintindihan ang kalikot ng utak nito. Minsan maayos siya kausap tapos maya-maya magsusungit. May salt!k din yata 'tong isang 'to e no?
“You can tell me what's bothering you.”
Napalingon naman ako sakanya nang sabihin niya yun. I'm amaze on how such a stranger give those effects. Ang lala! Sagad to the bone ganon!
I sighed “My father is here, nangangamusta”
“You're not in good terms with him?”
“No, he's the reason why I almost lost my life before. Remember nung sinabi kong yung taong tinalikuran ako? Sya yun. He left me when I needed him the most”
Here he goes again. I see nothing in his eyes. Hindi blanko, mahirap lang basahin. It's like he doesn't feel anything while staring at me.
The night was filled with our emotions. The cold wind is embracing our skin. It feels like the heaven above hear our unsaid thoughts.
I remember now what I've read a month ago. It says “as a kid, i thought everytime the clock turns 12:00 midnight, there are ghosts that will scare me. but i was wrong, for i realized that the scariest things during midnights are the cruel realizations and the chaos of adulthood” and it was right. Indeed.
Before, I used to ponder whether life is beautiful or not. Maybe grief and all things that hurt are bound to exist as long as i exist, or maybe even after i exist. dahil kung hindi, bakit patuloy silang nananatili sa parang hindi nila ako nilalayuan? bakit nararamdaman ko sila sa lahat ng emosyong kaya kong maramdaman? kahit masaya, naroon ang lungkot; kahit namamahinga, naroon ang pagod; kahit may kapayapaan, naroon ang kalbaryo; kahit maginhawa, naroon ang sakit.
Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan ako naging masaya. Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan huling sumilay ang natural na ngiti sa aking labi. My life is so me.ssed up. So bad. That probably the kid I was before cannot fathom the life I have today.
Tahimik lang kaming dalawa ni Dione. I was lost in my thoughts again.
“Do you want to know what happened between me and my father before?” I asked suddenly
“Do you wanna tell it now?” Nagulat ako sa tanong niya. Tinitigan ko siya tsaka unti-unting natawa.
“Not really...”
“Then I don't want to know now. Tsaka nalang kapag gusto mo na, kapag ready kana. Tsaka ko gugustuhing pakinggan”
As I turn my gaze into him, I saw him smiling at me sweetly... That's it, wala na talaga akong takas sa lalaking 'to.
YOU ARE READING
Maybe in another life
Romance"Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is hear no more; it is a tale told by an id/ot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do...
