Dixon's Girl- TWD

I'm Sorry

Jody Pov

The night that daryl knocked my daddy unconscious was the worst night of my life.

Freddie would kill me then daryl when he woke up.

Daryl thought of me as repulsive, and I hated myself for it. Because he was right. He deserved answers but I didn't know how to give them to him. It hurt too badly, just knowing that he now saw me as a freak.

I lay awake all night, crying into my pillow. What had happened wasn't even near the worst part of the night, but I just wanted to forget about all of that. I wanted it gone, out of my head forever.

When dawn finally broke, I was exhausted. I must have slept at some point, but it sure didn't feel like it. My eyes were swollen from all the crying and my skin felt dry.

"Hey," merle said when I walked outside the trailer, pegging the washing on the line.

I ignored him, my eyes thankfully dry from last night

"Come on, don't do this. I wasn't the one who beat up Freddie and I sure as hell wasn't the one who raped you!"

I whipped my head around to meet his eyes. "Do you ever shut up? What happened between me and my daddy is none of your god damn business and I'd appreciate it if you left me and my family the fuck alone!"

"And what about daryl? Is it over between you two?"

I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and shrugged my shoulders. "I love him, but I'm not so sure he can look at me the same way ever again. I'm ruined, unclean. Daryl deserves better."

"He loves ya. Spent all night trying to go over and speak to you but I held him back. Wanted you to get some sleep. Look, if you talk to him, I think you'll realise how sorry he is. He didn't understand at first but I've spoken to him and explained that what happened wasn't your choice. He knows now."

"Good. So he can come and find me when he wakes up then, let me know that he's sorry."

I hung up the last piece of clothing and then carried the basket back inside, running my fingers through my hair. Despite the early time, it was still really warm.

"Jesus christ," I muttered to myself, leaning against the kitchen worktop. My eyes closed as I re-imagined last night. The day had been so beautiful, at the zoo, with max. If we had come home just a few hours later, or earlier, maybe all of this could have been avoided. Daryl never wouldn't had to comfort me, he never would've come into my trailer and he never would've seen what my daddy was doing to me. But the world isn't built on 'if'. Its the here and now that's important.

A few moments later, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to reveal daryl, stood looking glum, almost ashamed of himself.

"Can we talk?" He asked

"Sure. But let's go outside. I don't wanna wake my family."

We stepped outside the trailer and took a walk into the woods, silently. Neither of us knew what to say but I sure as hell wasn't talking unless he apologised. Eventually, he did just that.

"I'm sorry for how I acted. What I should've done was take you out of the situation and let Freddie drink to forget. But I lost my temper and I blamed it on you. I didn't...I didn't know what was happening. Merle explained and I have never felt so awful in all my life. What I said was unforgiveable."

I nodded my head. "It was pretty cruel. But you had your reasons. Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you-"

"You didn't have to. I should've noticed."

"No. Don't say that. Don't blame yourself. This is all Freddie fault. And no, you didn't handle it well, but I can hardly blame you. Hell, I knocked your daddy out with a gun when I lost my temper, seeing him try and hurt you. I understand."

Daryl gave me a half smile. "So what now? I don't want you staying with him."

"I know. But I ain't got a choice. Your daddy would kill me if I stayed at yours. You don't have to be with me," I told him with tears in my eyes

He looked up from the ground, meeting my eyes. "What?" He asked, "why wouldn't I be with you?"

"Because, things are more complicated now."

"Yeah, that's true. You've been through hell, but the only difference is now I know about it. And I can help you."

"You don't get it-"

"Then help me understand," he whispered, holding my hand and pulling my closer

A few tears rolled down my face as my lip trembled. Was I really ready to tell him? For the world to know? Saying it out loud would make it real. I looked away from him but he gently grabbed my chin and guided me back to his eyesight. "Oh daryl, I'm late."

"For what? You gotta be somewhere?"

"No. I mean...I'm late late...ya know, my period."

His eyes went wide and it was as if his face had just fallen. I could almost see his entire world crumble around him, along with my own

"Please say something," I begged

"How late?"

"A couple months."

"So that wasn't the first time he..." He trailed off as I shook my head, stepping backwards. I put my head in my hands and sobbed loudly

"It's been happening since I was a kid."

"Hey, come on. I know you're worried but being late doesn't mean you are definitely pregnant. Have you taken a test?"

I shook my head. He let out a small smile and put both his hands on my shoulders, looking at me intensly. "I'll get you a test, and you can then know for sure. But hey, whatever happens, you ain't losing me. I'm here, with you forever. Can't get rid of me that easily."

"You can't. This is a small town daryl. Everyone knows I'm you're girl. If you buy a test then they'll know it's for me."

"Then merle can get it. Hell, he sleeps with so many women that no person would ever be able to guess who it's for. You alright with me telling him?"

I nodded my head slowly. "I guess. Daryl, you're a good man, ya know?"

"I'm just doing what anyone else would do."

"I know. You're every bit as good as them. You seem to think that being a dixon makes you lesser, but you're wrong. Because there is not one thing about you that I would change. Thank you."

He gently put his hand on the back of my head and pulled my into a hug, kissing my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes, taking in his scent. We had no idea what was going to happen by we knew that we'd face it together