Naina: His subconscious desire

30. A little closer

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Naina's Pov

I sat silently on the balcony, how fast things change you would not even realize. I don't know what my uncle and aunt are up to but one thing is sure that they will not be silent. I have no hopes for their kindness but at least they should not interfere now. They have hurt me enough, finally I am getting a family and they all just want to destroy my little happiness. I have no idea what is going to happen once the truth comes out but I still hope there will be people who will support me, at least my Iti.

I don't have the courage to tell this to anyone but it is getting difficult to keep this till me. I have no idea how I am going to accomplish my purpose but one thing is sure I had to do it anyhow. Will he help me? Would he judge me? Shut up Naina, don't even think to disclose this to anyone,  you know better no one is gonna trust you not even a bit.

Tears fell from my eyes, I felt like I was stuck. Whenever I try to start I simply come back to the same point. I need to tell this to someone but how and why would anyone help me, it is so clear then why would they believe a girl who is telling a different story,I need to stay quiet and this seems a good way, I am not strong, I cannot save the people but what I can do is save my family which matters to me the most.

People might be thinking I am cruel but I have no way, I can't trust people, people would not even trust me and I have to pay a big amount even if I disclosed this mistakenly.

I quit mom, I can't do this. I am feeling pathetic and might regret it all my life, now I know the reason why I am so cursed, why God doesn't help me. Trust me, the realization hurts most, and more than that it hurts when you know everything, and only you can fix it but you're a coward to face the situation. And mom, your daughter is a coward . Please forgive her.

It hurts when you realize the truth and the truth is, I am disabled. I cannot do anything without anyone’s help, I hate to admit it but I am useless. It hurts so much when you realize you're good for nothing, why would even anyone tolerate me, I am just a burden, I wish I could do any good to this world but mom, dad you both are important to me. You might not care about your image, but I do, and I am not ready to tear your image. I don't care how much it costs but I won't do it, be angry with me, hate me but I won't do it mom, I won't.

“Why are you crying, emerald?” His velvet voice takes me out of my delusions. I wiped my tears immediately, although my inner self was bleeding in pain but I couldn't show it on my face. This is what I have mastered all these years and I can easily hide my emotions. I hate myself for giving in to demons but have no way to do that.

“I am not” I gave a tight lipped smile, I hope he didn't question. I felt him sitting beside me, I gritted my teeth, it took all my strength to sit normally, I tried a lot to make it look normal but I am failing. I can act but not in front of him. He knows me, inside out I don't know how he does it but he knows me better, I can never lie and escape in front of him.

He kept his finger on my chin and made me face him. I can feel his warmth and care, he truly cares about me but why I don't deserve any of this, I don't deserve this.

“Missing family” His words brought tears to my eyes, how can he know me so well? I didn't take a minute and wrapped my hands around his neck. I cried on his chest, I felt him wrapping his hands around me.

“Cry as much as you want but next time I would like to listen to your thoughts” I cried on his chest, while he let me hold me in his embrace and after an eternity I felt home. He is my husband, my new friend, he is my home, this is my home.