Naina: His subconscious desire

48. Veer's Past

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Naina POV

I was lying on his bare chest, feeling his warmth, love and care. He was caressing my back softly, giving me pecks. I can't believe I am the person who was scared of physical touches, I am still scared but not with him. This is what he has done to me. He had made me feel so secure that I am not scared anymore, not scared of him.

We are lying together on the same bed, in his arms while he is shirtless. It's his efforts only. Unknowingly, he made me so comfortable that I wonder what he would have done if he had known my fears and trauma.

We are together because of him only, because I am a person with so many flaws. He stayed patient with me and that's what I needed. He told me at the start he didn't want anything with me, we were just spouses on papers. I lived like that only, I couldn't see and people have hurt me so much that I don't even dare to go close to them.

I don't know what intention people had with me, all I could think was their spoken words. I can't see their faces and emotions and it makes me a pathetic person. It's difficult for me to get what they actually want and if I misinterpreted their action and later it turned out to be something else, I would be broken. That's the way I protect myself.

But with him it's different, it's still surreal for me that he chose me over his city and position. Am I that important to him? Yes, I am. I cannot see but I can feel it, My Veer loves me so much.

I am not scared of him or his touches, I have spent 4-5 months with him, I never felt anything wrong. He never lusts over my body and today I asked to change my clothes because I know he worships me and there is no such wrong intention for me in his body. I know he can never lust on my body, he is my Veer, my Pure devotion Veer.

He is pure, but would he accept me? A tainted soul? I am not sure how I will tell him but I had to tell him, I can keep him in darkness but I am waiting for the right time, or I am scared because this has the possibility that I will lose only good things that happened to me in my life.

Should I hide it? It feels like betraying him today or tomorrow he is going to know, let him find it by himself because there is no way I am going to snatch my few good days with him. Or should I tell him?

I can't be selfish he deserves to know, I don't care about few good days now the time has came when he should know few things, I am not gonna tell him by myself but I will tell him when he will ask me, I will not lie at that time, yeah, seems like a good decision.

I came out of my thoughts when I felt him caressing my cheeks, the weight of my question was on his chest. Seems like he was struggling a lot.

“Veer, Bataiye na aap Maa sa, ko Mrs. Rajvansh kyu bulate hai” I kept mine on his chest and waited for his answer. I somewhere feel he loves her but there is something which led their relationship like this. ("Veer, please tell me why you call Maa 'Mrs. Rajvansh'?")

“Nayan, aap kyu ye sab soch rahi hai. Itna khud ko tang kyu kar rahi hai–( "Nayan, why are you thinking about all this? Why are you troubling yourself so much?")

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, jo pucha hai vo batao to main apko ek kissi dungi” I tried to bribe him, his hands tightened around my waist. ("Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, just answer what I asked, and I'll give you a kiss.")

“Woh toh ham abhi bhi le sakte hai”( "Well, I can take that right now.") Saying he attached our lips and took me into a slow passionate kiss. My cheek turned hot, he sucked my lips softly and his hands caressed my waist. He pulled out after a minute and his hands went inside my top and he caressed my back softly. My spine shivered at his touch and my hands fisted his hair.