I love you.. and all your Little Things(Louis Tomlinson fan-fic)

Chapter 8

I can't believe I just told Catie I love her!! I guess when we were kissing and looking into eachothers eyes it just happened to slip out. I didn't know what exactly was happening just that I loved every minute of it!! I was caught up in my thoughts when I felt Catie get off the bed and run out of the room tears streaking down her face. What happened?

Catie's P.O.V

Lous said he loved me and I ran out of the room. Louis Tomlinson said he freaking lived me and I ran out of the room!! I know what you guys are thinking. 'Well what the bloody ell Catie why did you jat up and run out of the room!?' Well that's thevpoint I don't know I just needed to talk to someone. I ran up the stairs and towards Zayn's room, I hope he's in there! To my luck he was so I just burst in sobbing.

"Catie? Catie what's wrong love?" he asked worriedly.

"L..Lou....Louis... H.he said he l...loved me" I said through my tears.

"Catie what is so wrong about that? Don't you love him back?" He asked confused.

"Y...yeah I think I do but..." I stopped midsentence.

"Catie you what?" He asked calmly.

"I... I haven't been loved since before my mother left us and ever since then I was just hurt!" I exclaimed crying into his chest.

"Shh Shh it's okay love it's okay" He cooed. Zayn was like my best friend. He was the only one besides Louis that knew about my cuts and how my dad was abusive and he didn't judge me for it. But I also wasn't afraid to talk to Zayn, he listened and he was soothing and he was amazing. Without thinking I lifted my head up and I kissed him. Just like that. I kissed Louis Tomlinson then I kissed Zayn Malik. All in a matter of 5 Minutes!! Except Zayn kissed me back, and his kiss was soothing and not rough and uncomfortable.

Zayn's P.O.V

What was I doing?! Why did I kiss her back?! Louis liked her! Wait so did Harry and Niall... Crap!! What am I gonna do??

"I'm...I'm sorry" She stuttered out.

"No Shh Shh it's okay I'm sorry" I said placing a finger over her lips to make her stop talking.

"I.. I should go..." She said as she hesitantly stood up and walked out of the room. Like that she was gone.

Catie's P.O.V

I hesitantly left Zayns room and walked back up to mine. I walked by Louis's room fast but quiet so he wouldn't hear me. I needed to take a break and get out. I can't do this anymore! I thought to myself. I walked into my room and to my closet. I pulled out some baggy sweats and a long sleeve tie die shirt to cover up my scars. I grabbed my clothes and walked to my bathroom and shut the door. I stripped off my clothes and turned the shower on and hopped in once the water was warm. I sat there underneath the running water and just thought to myself.

'Why did you run away from Louis'

'Why did you Kiss Zayn'

'Why are you even living with one direction'

And the last thought almost killed me.

'Why are you even alive'

"I don't know" I mumbled out loud answering my own question. I saw the razor in the corner of the shower and I broke the blade off I cut my finger a little bit but watching the blood run out of my body made me feel alive again. I washed the blade off to make sure I wouldn't get infected if something was on it and then I looked down at my wrists. I was debating on where to cut. I decided on my stomach, because I'm too fat to wear a bathing suit if the boys wanted to go to the beach anyways. I cut a lot.. There were some deep ones and they all at least drew a little bit of blood. I washed the blade off once again, turned off the shower and got out, Wrapping a blue worn out towel around my body. I shoved the blade in the trash and looked down at my new cuts. I was happy. Wait no I wasnt I was ashamed, but yet I felt alive. I was caught in my thoughts when I heard someone knock ok my bathroom door.

"Catie? Is everything all right?" I heard that soft soothing Irish accent ask. I smiled a little.

"Everything is okay! I was gonna take a walk through the park, you wanna come with?" I asked through the door.

"I would love too! Just let me go get ready" He said and I heard his footprints walk out of my room and down the hall. I put on my bra and underwear and then I looked through my cupboards to find something to wrap around my stomach to make sure that the cuts didn't start bleeding and bleed through my shirt. I found an elastic wrap thing and I wrapped it around my stomach and secured it tightly. I put on my black tank top and my tie die shirt, I then put on my baggy sweats and some socks. I tucked a little bit off my tank top into my shirt at the front and I pulled the brush through my hair and stuck it in a messy bun, a new habit of mine. I looked in the mirror and almost forgot about my makeup! I quickly put on some pink eyeshadow and eyeliner and mascara. I walked out of my bathroom to find Niall sitting on my bed.

"You know you don't need makeup your beautiful love" He said as I walked back over to my closet to find my shoes. I picked out some brown knit UGG's, and slipped them on tucking my sweat bottoms into the shoes as I sat down next to Niall.

"And you are crazy adorable" I said laughing and squeezing his hand. He blushed. Yes Niall James Horan blushed. "Can we get goin now?" I asked.

"Oh yeah let's go!" Niall said standing up as I walked over to my bedside table and grabbed my phone. I grabbed my black Nike jacket slipping it on as we walked out of my room. As we walked downstairs Liam looked at us with a puzzled expression on his face as we walked out the door.

"Goin for a walk Li be back later!!" We shouted over our shoulders. We walked to the nearby park and I ran over to the swings. Push me Nialler!!" I commanded.

"As you wish my love" He said acting like he was bowing down and I giggled as he pulled me back and let me go as I started swinging forward.

"Nialllllllll" I whined.

"Catieeeee" he whined back.

"Too slow!" I shouted.

"Okay then let's pick it up a notch!" He winked at me.

"Thank the lord!!" I yelled sarcastically as Niall pulled me back again once more but this time he didn't just let me go, He shouted, "This is what I call as the..... Underdog!!" and he ran forward still holding onto the swing and then threw the swing up a little and ducked Under it..

"Ahhh!!" I yelled because I almost fell off the backhoe the swing but I caught myself. As I swung back towards where Niall was standing and he stopped the swing and he looked of worried because I almost fell off.

"Oh my god Catie are you okay?!" he said as he pulled me up off the swing and into a horan hug.

"I'm fine" I said looking into those gorgeous eyes of his and next thing I new his lips were entwined with mine. What is wrong with me?! I have kissed three boys in one day!! And they are alllll best friends too!! I need help...... Im such a slut!! But what scared me wasn't getting caught by the other boys it was when Niall put his Hans on my waist and pulled me closet to him. I flinched at the touch and Niall must have felt the ace bandage because he looked at me awkwardly and lifted my shirt and the ace bandage up a little. His eyes got wide at my recent self harm. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and I turned around and ran off crying with my hands covering my face.... again