terrified. ✿ calum hood au

[0] terrified

calum-

for the longest time, i've had the biggest crush on kaeleigh hall. ever since she moved into the house across the street, we've been best friends. i didn't realize that i liked her until her thirteenth birthday, on which she looked so beautiful in her new skirt and top that i wanted to kiss her.

i thought it was nothing, that the butterflies in my stomach and the fast pace of my heart were just because of my excitement that my best friend was thirteen.

it confused me so much that i talked to my mom about it. with an overly excited smile on her face, my mom told me that i had taken a special liking to kaeleigh.

two years later, i realized i was in love with her.

kae had just gotten a boyfriend, and was dancing with him at our school homecoming. when they leaned in and touched their lips together, i had become angry, knowing that it was me who should be holding her like that. it was me who should be loving her like that.

i'm pretty sure everyone knew i was in love with kaeleigh. my mom, my dad, my sister, luke, michael, ashton.

everyone but kaeleigh.

yet as much as i loved her, and as much as i hoped that she would someday love me to, i was terrified.

every other girl that had told me they loved me ended up in the arms of some buff jock.

and i didn't want to lose kaeleigh.

-

kaeleigh-

for the longest time, i've had the biggest obsession with love. ever since my mom read me fairytales in bed, i have always had this weird thing with love. it started out as a sort of craving; i wanted a love like the prince and princess had, i wanted to live happily ever after.

now, i hate it.

love changed people. many people were fine until they fell in love. then, their life was filled with heart break and sadness. they ended up crying on the bathroom floor with a shattered heart.

i don't want that to happen to me.

yet, at the same time, i longed for someone who cared for me. someone who loved me. i wanted my own prince, one who wouldn't fall in love with me just because i looked pretty in a dress.

i have a love-hate relationship with love.

i want it; i'm terrified of it.