terrified. ✿ calum hood au

[8] sober

kaeleigh-

i didn't know know how to react when i realized my feelings for calum. i mean, if i went near him i would just be weird again, and he'd get all freaked out.

so i avoided him.

for two whole days, i ignored his texts, calls, and knocks on my door. probably not the best move.

and now, i had to see him. not because i thought it was time or whatever, but because ashton just had to be having a fücking birthday party tonight. he just had to turn twenty, the aśshole.

"kae, just put a dress on and-"

"i don't want to go," i whined into the phone, causing him to laugh. "he's gonna hate me."

"well then you shouldn't have ignored him," luke stated obviously. i rolled my eyes. "i'm sure he'll be okay. just go get dressed."

"but what if i want to talk to you instead?"

"kaeleigh."

i groaned, and heard luke chuckle. "okay, bye, i hate you. you suck, see you in an hour."

"bye, k-"

i hit the end button, cutting luke off, and tossed my phone onto my bed. i made my way over to my closet, searching through my very few dresses for one to wear tonight. i mentally rolled my eyes at the whole idea of this.

i decided to wear skinny jeans and a t-shirt instead. i threw on a leather jacket as well, and a pang shot through my heart as i realized that calum bought this for me.

luke texted me as i put on my converse, and i opened the message while i walked downstairs.

from lukee :-) - change of plans. be there in twenty.

to lukee :-) - okay.

i waited in the living room, scrolling through twitter. twenty minutes passed by slowly, and i sighed in relief when there was a knock on my door.

i swung it open, expecting to see luke, hoping to see him, michael or ashton, but was met with calum. i'm killing luke.

"hi," he greeted awkwardly, not meeting my eyes.

i didn't say anything, closing the door and turning around to lock it. i really wasn't in the mood for anything today.

i heard him sigh as i walked past him, and i squeezed my eyes closed as i frowned. i didn't want to hurt him, yet here i was, basically doing it intentionally.

as i got in the car, ashton turned around in the passenger seat to grin widely at me. "hi, kae!" this boy was always happy, i didn't understand it.

"hey, ash," i smiled. his happiness kind of rubbed off on people. "happy birthday."

"thanks." he laughed, (why?), and turned back around as michael began to pull away from my driveway.

i became more thankful for luke for sitting in between calum and i, and shot him a small smile as we drove. he returned it, and then joined the conversation between ashton and michael.

since luke was leaning slightly forward to talk to the two up front, i could feel calum's gaze on me in the small space between the blonde and the seat. i ignored it, and kept my stare out the window.

we arrived to the club, and all four boys exited excitedly. a smile made its way onto my face as they all but ran to the entrance, and michael turned around to beckon me forward.

calum and luke headed towards the bar, while ashton, michael and i looked for a table. we found one in the back, and the two soon returned with drinks. i took my soda from luke gratefully, thankful that he remembered how i liked to stay sober at these kind of things.

ashton rolled his eyes at my choice of beverage. "c'mon, kae, loosen up. it's my birthday, you have to drink."

"no thanks," i scrunched my nose, "i'd rather not. and this way i get to remember all the stupid things you four do."

"you act as if we do something idiotic every five seconds," luke rolled his eyes, and i turned my pointed gaze to michael as he flicked calum in the forehead, causing the younger boy to spill beer down his chin.

"okay, nevermind."

michael and luke got tipsy fast, and made their way to the dance floor. ashton and calum were just slightly buzzed, and could maintain a conversation that made sense. 

that didn't last long.

michael, ashton, and calum were now completely drunk, dancing ridiculously in the sea of bodies. luke went to the bathroom ten minutes ago, but was most likely making out with some girl in the back.

i raised an eyebrow as calum stumbled his way back to our table, and slurred, "kaeleigh, come dance with us."

i wasn't able to protest, calum grabbed my hand and began to drag me toward the strangers. i couldn't spot michael and ashton, but i wasn't too worried.

calum let out a string of giggles as he held my hand up, ducking under my arm and spinning around in a circle. a fond smile pulled at my lips, watching him try to get me to dance. i gave in and let him twirl me around ridiculously, laughing along with him.

a slower song came on, one that people still jumped to nonetheless. calum, however, pulled my into his chest and proceeded to sway lightly to the beat.

"kaeleigh? can you keep a secret?" he asked in his own drunken whisper. he didn't wait for me to respond. "i'm in love with someone." he held a finger to his lips and made a 'shh!' sound.

my heart stopped beating.

"hey," he said, now in normal volume, switching topics right away. "why are you ignoring me? it's mean. what did i do? nothing!"

"exactly, cal," i whispered. "you did nothing."

"kaeleigh," calum whined, "stop it."

"stop what, cal?"

"stop being a meanie and talk to me."

"i'm sorry, calum," i began, "you don't deserve the way i've been treating you-"

"no, i don't!" he exclaimed loudly, but the speakers were once again playing an upbeat song, so he wasn't that loud. "all i've ever done is love you as much as i can, and you just ignore that and avoid me."

"calum-"

"i love someone, kaeleigh." calum said again, and if i hadn't known better, i actually would have thought he knew what he was saying. "i love you."

i sucked in a breath as i shook my head frantically. "you don't mean that, calum. you don't know what you're saying."

"i know what i'm saying," calum insisted, "i just probably shouldn't be saying it, and wouldn't be saying it."

"no, cal," i said again, "you don't love me, you love someone else."

"who?" he asked sarcastically, "willow bryan? i'm always with you, i'd drop anything for you, i care about you, i love you."

i began to back away from him, denying every word coming out of his mouth. "you're gonna wake up and not remember this."

"then i'll do this."

i opened my mouth to speak, but calum surged forward, kissing me fully on the lips.

------

:)

so?

love you all,

k