falling for 13 || Johnny Kavanagh

Hiding In The Bathroom

G R A C E

The bathroom was quiet compared to the chaos of the canteen. My footsteps echoed on the tiles as I pushed the door open, the scent of cheap soap and lemon disinfectant filling my nose.

"Katie?" I called softly, glancing under the stalls to see shoes peeking out beneath the farthest one. I recognized the black pumps instantly. "Katie, it's me."

There was no response, just the faint sound of uneven breathing and a muffled sniffle. My chest ached.

"Katie," I tried again, stepping closer, "can you please open the door?"

"Go away," she croaked, her voice trembling.

"No," I said firmly, stopping right outside the stall. "Not until you come out."

"I'm fine," she said, but her voice cracked on the last word, betraying her.

"You're not fine," I countered, leaning my shoulder against the door. "And I don't blame you. Lizzie was acting the maggot."

There was silence for a moment, then a shaky exhale. "It's not her. Well, not just her."

"Then what?" I asked gently.

"Me," she whispered, so soft I almost didn't hear it.

My heart twisted. "Katie, please let me in."

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence. Then, slowly, I heard the lock click. I pushed the door open gently and found her sitting on the closed toilet lid, her knees now pulled up to her chest, her face streaked with tears. Her makeup was smudged, and she looked so small and fragile that I wanted to wrap her in a hug and never let go.

"Hey," I said softly, crouching down to her level. "Talk to me."

Katie shook her head, more tears spilling down her cheeks. "I'm such an eejit," she whispered.

"For what?" I asked, frowning.

"For thinking I could keep it together," she said, her voice cracking again. "I—I've been trying so hard, Grace. And then Lizzie—" She cut herself off, burying her face in her hands.

"Lizzie doesn't matter," I said firmly, reaching out to squeeze her arm. "She's bitter, and that's on her, not you."

Katie let out a shaky laugh that was more of a sob. "You make it sound so simple."

"It is," I said, though I knew it wasn't, not for her. Not when she was carrying so much.

She sniffled and wiped at her face, her hands trembling. "You know what's pathetic? It's not even about her. It's... it's about me. I can't even look at myself sometimes, Grace. I feel like I'm never good enough. Not for Hughie, not for myself..."

"Hey," I interrupted, my tone soft but firm. "Don't talk about yourself like that. You are more than enough. And if anyone, anyone, makes you feel like you're not, they don't deserve you."

Katie shook her head again, but she didn't argue this time.

"Does Hughie know you feel like this?" I asked carefully.

Her eyes darted away, and she chewed her bottom lip. "Kind of. He knows some of it. But... he doesn't get it, not really."

I sighed, unsure how to respond to that. I wanted to tell her that Hughie would understand if she just told him everything, but I didn't want to push her.

"Listen," I said after a moment. "You don't have to do this alone. You've got me. And Shannon. And Claire. And Clara. And Orlaith. And Aoibh. We're here for you, Katie. Always."

Her lip wobbled, and she nodded, finally letting me pull her into a hug.

"I just wish I could stop feeling this way," she whispered against my shoulder.

"You will," I promised, even though I wasn't sure. "It'll take time, but you will."

We stayed like that for a while, the silence broken only by the occasional sniffle. When she finally pulled back, her face was blotchy, but there was a glimmer of something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. Hope, maybe.

"You ready to go back out there?" I asked gently.

Katie hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"Good," I said, standing up and holding out a hand to help her. "Because you've got me at your side, and I'll fight anyone who looks at you sideways. Even Lizzie."

Katie let out a watery laugh. "You're brave."

"Not really" I said, shrugging.

When we stepped out of the bathroom, Katie's posture was straighter, though her eyes were still a little red. I could tell she wasn't fully okay, but she'd taken a step forward, and I'd take that as a win. What I didn't expect, as soon as the bathroom door closed behind us, was to see Hughie waiting outside. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, clearly anxious, but his expression brightened when he saw Katie.

"Katie," he said, stepping forward, relief flooding his voice.

Katie froze for a second, glancing at me nervously. I moved slightly in front of her, instinctively protective.

"No," I said firmly, holding up a hand.

Hughie frowned. "No? What the fuck, Grace?"

"She doesn't need this right now," I snapped, keeping my voice low but unyielding. "She needs space, not you swooping in to make it about you."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm her boyfriend. You don't get to decide when I can talk to her."

"I'm not deciding anything," I shot back. "I'm just saying she's been through enough today, and you barging in—"

"I'm not barging in!" Hughie cut me off, his voice rising. He glanced at Katie, who looked down at the floor, shifting uncomfortably. "Katie, can we talk? Please?"

I turned to her, my tone softer. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Grace!" Hughie growled, stepping forward. "You can't just—"

"She's my friend," I shot back, meeting his glare. "And if I think she needs time, I'm going to say it. You don't get to push her."

"You don't get to control this!" Hughie snapped, his voice sharper now. "She's my girlfriend. Not yours. You can't stop me from talking to her!"

"I don't want to talk" Katie chirped up, looking nervous.

I felt my own temper rise, but before I could respond, a hand pressed firmly against Hughie's chest, stopping him in his tracks.

"Cool it," Johnny said, his tone calm but edged with authority.

Hughie looked at him, startled, but Johnny didn't back down. He kept his hand steady on Hughie's chest, his eyes locked with his.

"You're pissed," Johnny said evenly, "and I get that. But roaring at Grace isn't going to help anyone, least of all Katie."

For a second, it looked like Hughie might argue, but then he exhaled sharply and stepped back, running a hand through his hair.

"Fine," he muttered, glancing at Katie again. "But I need to talk to her. Katie, please."

Katie hesitated, then nodded slowly, her voice barely above a whisper. "After school, maybe. I have to go find my class."

I stepped back, giving Katie a small nod. Still, Hughie followed her down the hall, leaving Johnny and me standing there in the awkward silence.

Johnny chuckled softly, stepping closer. "You were about five seconds away from decking him."

"And?"

"And," he said, sliding an arm around my waist, "while I fully support you defending your friend, to my friend who was being a bleeding eejit, maybe don't start a fistfight in the middle of school."

I sighed, leaning into him. "He pisses me off."

Johnny kissed the top of my head. "He's always pissing off someone."

I snorted, but the sound was half-hearted. My eyes drifted down the hall where Katie and Hughie had disappeared.