jarah one shots 💓

sh.

‼️⚠️TW: this section of the book includes topics such as self harm and other mental health issues, if this is triggering to you please skip ahead.ive tried to portray this as best as i can and i hope ive done a good job. ⚠️‼️ (i've also tried to link this to a previous story in this book which is labelled "trauma"

"Sarah are you ok you haven't come out of the bathroom in a few minutes." Kiara said as she knocked on the door. Sarah didn't answer which made Kiara very scared and confused so she knocked again. "Sarah if you don't answer i'm going to call John B to get you out of here" Sarah responded quickly to this and shakily shouted "one second" Kiara decided just to open the door as she noticed her voice sounded like she was crying and was concerned about the fact that she didn't want John B to come which was very unlike her. She opened the door to see a scared and tear-stained face Sarah holding a bloody paper towel over her wrist. "Sarah what the hell" she whispered. Tears formed in the corners of Sarah's eyes. "i'm sorry" she said. "no no don't say sorry we can talk about this in a minute but first let me look at the cut please." "I'm sorry i cut and i think i went to deep Sarah cried. "Sarah it's okay just breathe i'm going to sort it. The cut isnt as bad as you think but if you're scared we can go get it checked?" "It's fine could you just wrap it please." Sarah said. Kiara went to go grab her first aid kit while Sarah just waited for her silently sobbing. "Ok I'm gonna clean the first and then I'll wrap it." Kiara explained. Sarah grabbed a cleaning wipe and cleaned Kiara's cut.

After she was cleaned up Kiara wrapped her up into a tight hug and let her cry into her shoulder. When she calmed down she pulled apart and said softly "Sar i don't know why your doing this and frankly it's none of my business but i'm going to be here with you. but i think you should tell John B". Getting anxious at the thought Sarah quickly rambled "no i can't tell john b it'll break him i told him i was okay and that everything that happened was over and the flashbacks and shit had stopped he can't know kie he can't". "So you think the cause of this is from the trauma of your dad and rafe?" "yeah because as soon as those panic attacks went. this started" she said gesturing to her arm. "Yeah i remember them they were rough". "Well Sar i can't tell you what to do but I think you should tell him. either way i'll be here for you i promise."

A few hours later the girls were sat watching gilmore girls on the tv when Sarah finally spoke up. "I think i'm going to tell him i just don't know how", smiling at her kiara suggests that she should just start from the beginning and that she'd be there if she wanted her to be. As they were discussing the best cause of action they heard the twinkie pull up and Sarah became increasingly anxious and felt her heart rate speed up and her chest become tight "kie" she gasped grabbing her chest and beginning to lose her breath. Kiara quickly turned around and held her hands. "Sarah look at me" sarah looked up at her panicked. "your okay just keep breathing he's not going to be mad i promise it's going to be okay, in through your nose and out through your mouth don't panic yourself". Sarah squeezed her hand and slowly stood up trying to slow her breathing down and together they walked towards the front door to sit outside, knowing that she'd feel better talking with the fresh air flowing into her lungs.

They reached the door just as John B opened it. Confused as to why they were there he said "er hello?". Sarah squeezed Kiaras hand harder trying not to panic, noticing this Kiara spoke up first. "Sarah really needs to talk to you about something" she says gently "let's go outside". Sarah met John Bs eyes and he noticed how terrified she looked, kiara led Sarah outside and John B followed, they all sat down on the patio and after a few seconds of awkward silence John B broke the silence by clearing his throat "soo, what did you need to talk to me about?" Sarah was intently staring at the floor but started saying. "John B this is really hard to say and Kiaras here because she can carry on for me if i can't speak but basically" she pauses taking a big breath trying to centre herself. She looks up and tears form in her eyes, John B takes her hand and says "babe whatever it is that you can't tell me that's making you this anxious to say, it's okay if you can't speak then that's okay but whatever it is i love you and it'll be alright" Tears flowed down her face and Kiara rubbed her leg comfortingly "i'm so sorry" she sobbed "i'm such a horrible girlfriend i can't even open up to you". John B was taken aback "Sarah Cameron if you are anything it is not a bad girlfriend you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. please just tell me what's on your mind" he says firmly but softly.

Looking at Kiara for a source of comfort she said quietly "remember a few months ago when i had those horrible flashbacks and i had that panic attack when we were all hanging out?" she saw John B nod so she carried on "basically although i was doing really well recently these thoughts and flashbacks came back and the only thing i could think of doing was um hurting myself" avoiding his gaze she stares at the floor "and i'm sorry i'm so so sorry i couldn't tell you, kie only knows because she caught me this morning". Realising that she meant she was self-harming John B gets up and pulls her in the tightest hug she's ever had, melting into his embrace she sobbed once again. "you have nothing to be sorry about, if anything i'm sorry you felt like you couldn't say anything" he says to a sobbing sarah. Meeting her eyes he speaks again "nothing could ever make me not love you as much as i do and we're going to find help, the more you talk to me the more i can help" kiara chimes in and says "yeah sar we've got your back the whole way" "next time your in a flashback or you feel the need to do this then speak to me or kie and we can help you" john b says. "i love you guys" sarah says.

An hour later the trio were still sat outside, John B and Kie were talking and noticed that Sarah was quiet. As John B looked down he noticed that she'd fallen asleep on his shoulder, "i'll take her to bed" he whispers. Carrying Sarah to his bedroom he placed her down on the bed he kissed her head and whispered "i love you sarah cameron" as he kissed her head letting tears fall that he didn't even know he was holding back. He quickly brushed them away as he noticed Kie was stood in the door way, he got up awkwardly and tried to avoid her gaze. Walking towards her and shutting the door behind him he couldn't hold his tears in and Kiara just hugged him and comforted him. "i just feel so hopeless i had no idea she was going through this" he cried. "john b there was no way you could of known, this isn't your fault we're going to help her get better it's all going to be okay" kiara whispered as he slowly stopped crying. "but i get it JB it's not a nice thing for her to be going through and we just need to be there for her" kiara says pulling out of the hug. "yeah. yeah, thanks kie your the best thank you for helping her today" he says walking back to the bedroom.

Opening the bedroom door her heard sobs coming from under the duvet "sarah?" he says lifting the duvet back. He meets a sobbing Sarah and says "babe? what's wrong" "everything. i'm so messed up and now everyone's worried about me all i do is put stress on people and i want a future with you but i keep falling back into this rabbit hole and never get anywhere i'm so tired" she says crying into her hands. He didn't say anything and just pulled her onto his lap and let her cry into his chest for a good 5 minutes. When she stopped crying he said. "Sarah you have not messed anything up, you have been messed up by your family and that is not your fault you have been through hell so if you weren't affected i would probably be more concerned, your not going to feel like this forever you will get through this." he says to her. "and i want a future with you too" he adds. now slightly smiling she looks up at him "i'm so lucky to have you" she says. "do you really want a future with me? like kids and shit"? "more than anything" john b answers confidently "but let's go to sleep you've had a long long day". She stops in her tracks her her smile quickly goes off her face "wait jb you haven't even seen my wrists your going to think i'm ugly". "okay sarah no offence but your arms are not the reason i'm in love with you. and if your that worried then can i see?". She thinks for a second and says "are you sure?" "if your comfortable then yes. i think it'd help because you won't be hiding anything?". "maybe" she says unsure. "well if your comfortable then you can but think about it because it's boiling tonight and you can't sleep in that jumper."

After a few minutes Sarah realises how hot it is in their bedroom and decides that she'll have to take it off. "ok jb im going to have to take this hoodie off its too hot in here". "go for it sar i won't look if you don't want me to". he says. Pulling her jumper off John B noticed the lines across her wrist but doesn't say anything or stare for too long, although it breaks his heart he just kisses her and tells her she's beautiful and that she needs to sleep. Spooning her the pair begin to fall asleep feeling safe in each others embrace, Sarah just can't stop thinking about the fact that they both want a future together. Although she had such a shitty day the thought of this puts smile on her face and she fell alseep thinking about her future with JB.