Love in the Shadows ~ Dean Portman x OC

Ch. 26: I Just Stood There

Pov: Dean Portman, June 12th, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

"Curly Fry you got a letter" Sam hands me the letter from Eden Hall Academy.
"Prep school? Pass" I go to toss the letter when Casey grabs it from my hands and opens it
"You got a boat!"
"A boat?"
"Yea it's a schoolership"
"Schoolership? ...you mean a scholarship?"

I yank the letter from her hands and read it. "Holy shit I got a hockey scholarship to a prep school?"
"What prep school wants your dumbass?" Sam comes into the kitchen where we're standing
"Eden Hall Academy in-" I stop talking as I register where it is
"Earth to Dean? Hello??" Sam waves a hand in front of my face
"Minneapolis, Minnesota" I put the letter down in defeat. I can't move to Minnesota. Not with Casey and Jackie. I can't leave them here alone

I tore up the letter and threw it in the trash. I started walking back to my room to get ready for work
"Dean why'd you tear up the letter?" Casey followed me up to my room
"Wasn't interested"
"But you love hockey"
"But I love you and Jackie more. Plus if I'm in Minnesota, who's gonna buy you ice cream?"
"We'll go with you!"
"Casey I can't do that. You'd leave all your friends, school, everything"
"Oh... I don't wanna leave"
"And you won't" I kiss her forehead and shut my door to change.

As I'm heading back downstairs I hear the door close and the phone ring. Figuring Sam was the one that left, I pick up the phone. "Hello?"
"Dude did you get a letter?" It was Fulton on the line. I guess all the ducks got one
"No. What letter?" If he knew he'd try to make me go
"Oh shit. All the ducks got a letter inviting us to Eden Hall Academy"
"Oh that's cool. Congrats man"
"But you're on the team. He'll you're one of our best players. You're a Bash Bro! Why the hell didn't you get a letter?!"
"Man I don't know. I don't really care. Prep school isn't for me anyways but you should go. It'll be good for you"
"I don't wanna do hockey without you dude"
"Neither do I but I guess they don't want me"
"Let me talk to Bombay and see what I can do"
"No Fulton-" Damn.

Another reason I don't wanna go: "All the ducks got a letter inviting us to Eden Hall Academy" meaning she got one. We haven't spoken in months. She doesn't call anymore and every time I call she doesn't answer. I gave up after a month. Who cares? Not me. She can go do whatever the hell she wants! Even though I'm totally over her (yea right buddy. keep telling yourself that) I don't have the energy to toss her letters. Just not worth it. It's not like I look at them anyways (sureeeee)

I head off to work trying to forget about the letter and her. When I walk in Doug is making sandwiches and Darla is serving people coffee. Maybe the girls can stay with them? No. Too much to ask. These are old people whose kids are like 30 they don't need a 8 and 10 year old running around their house.

"Something on your mind hun?" Darla comes up to me with a warm smile only your grandma gives you that feels like hot cocoa and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
"It's nothing. How are you today?"
"I'm alright. Doug wanted to talk to you though"
"Uh ok" What could this be about? I'm not getting fired at I?

I walk over to Doug and he stops making sandwiches and wipes his hands on his apron.
"Dean, glad you're here I gotta talk to you"
"Yea I heard. Is everything alright?" Did I do something wrong?
"Oh yea I just wanted to talk to you. Man to man"

My lungs relax but my mind is racing brainstorming topics that require a "man to man"

"So son. About your salary-"
Is he about to cut my pay?! I need the money more than ever
"-I was thinking about giving you a raise. About 10%. How does that sound?"
I sit there astonished. I've never gotten a raise before. Well I've never had a job before but when I pictured it I never thought I'd be good enough to get a raise "That... sounds... like a handout"

He's giving me the money because he feels bad. Yesterday I talked to him about what's going on at home with Sam never being home much, Dad wigging out more than usual, and mom taking more shifts to compensate for it. He's giving me charity and I don't want charity

"Dean I promise it's not-"
"No I appreciate the offer but I'm good. I can provide for my family myself" I get up and leave the back room when he pulls me back in and continues talking
"This isn't because of your home life Dean. I don't care if you're Hugh Hefner, you're a good employee and I want to reward you for it. You've been getting good customer reviews and cover shifts like no other. I want you to know you're appreciated and mostly I want you to have money saved up. I started saving when I was your age and that savings bought this place. Whether you believe me or not, you're getting a raise"

I'll admit it to no one but he could probably tell. I was damn near crying by the time he was done. He hugged me like I always imagined my father would and I just broke down. I hugged him tightly and wept as quietly as I could into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt love from a place I believed impossible. He didn't want anything from me, he wasn't in love with me, but he loved me. At some point, Darla came to the back to see what was keeping us and she joined in, hugging both of us from the side and rubbing my back.

Her hand was so gentle and soft like my mother's was on my face during a thunderstorm. She used to sit on my bed and sing me back to sleep when the crackling thunder would scare me awake. Her soft hands would wipe away my tears and tickle my belly to get me to laugh. She was such a sweet and caring woman.

Thinking about her and how I haven't seen her for more than a second in passing made me cry even harder. I had only cried like this once and that was the first time I saw my dad hit my mom. I was 6 and Jacklin had just been born. I was so scared for her but I didn't do anything. I just stood there with my stuffed shark toy and watched as he knocked my mother to the floor. He looked at me and I started crying. He acknowledged nothing but just patted my head and went back to bed.

These people were nothing like that monster. These total strangers were so nice to me for no reason. They took a chance on me and I can never repay them.

After a couple minutes I'd stopped crying and thanked them both as I went to grab my apron and name tag. Work went on as usual so when I clocked out and walked back home, I had no preparation for what I was about to see. It was Sam standing with a group of guys putting a gun to some kids head. They were yelling at him and putting the gun closer and closer to him as the kid backed into a wall. He ended up handing them something and ran off. And like I was 6 again with my stuffed shark toy, I just stood there and watched my brother turn into a gang member. He was no longer Sam, my other brother who taught me about the world or Sam, my friend who would buy me ice cream anytime I got suspended or detention. No, he was Sam, the criminal who just put a gun on the head of a kid who was no older than me.

Reason #3 of why I can't leave: Sam might kill somebody and get caught

WC: 1400