Love in the Shadows ~ Dean Portman x OC

Ch. 36: For Good

Pov: Adam Banks, September 4th, 1995, Minneapolis, Minnesota

We all cheer as Goldberg makes the winning shot! The whole team pours onto the ice and hugs and laughs are spreading throughout the Ducks in glee. When it gets to me and Charlie he hugs me like normal and I hug him back tightly, maybe he does like me? He pats my back and goes to him mom to talk it out. I celebrate with Goldberg, Averman, and Guy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that girl from the hallway go up to Charlie and he-

He kisses her. Not quickly or European either. Full on, lip to lip,  slow, passionate, romantic, heterosexual kiss. I put my head down in shame and disappointment as I quietly skate back to the locker room. I just wanna go somewhere but here. Home isn't the greatest option and I can't stay here with him being all happy with that girl he barely knows.

Honestly Adam, how could you be so stupid? No fucking shit he's straight. Everyone is. You're just weird, defective. Nothing but some lousy faggot who will spend the rest of his miserable life trying to repress this disease, or hooking up with random twinks at bars that want nothing out of you but hands on their junk, or just flat out sad and alone fantasizing about your best friend somehow turning gay and leaping onto you like in those crappy holiday movies where they find out that love is the true meaning of Christmas.

"Adam? You ok?" Charlie comes softly into the locker room. He looks genuinely concerned and that only makes me wanna leave more.
"I'm good. Thanks" I don't even bother taking off the rest of my gear, not even my skates as I try to walk out and push past him.
"Adam!" He grabs my wrist to keep me from walking out. I'm near tears as Charlie continues.
"Look, I don't know what happened or whatever but, you're my best friend and that little accident shouldn't change that. Let's just forget it ever happened and move past it. Who knows? Maybe it'll be a fun story one of us'll tell on the other's wedding day! What a best man speech that'll be am I right?!" He laughs and hits my shoulder lightly.

I smile through the pain, not looking at him but at the wall behind him so it looks like normal eye contact. "Yeah. What a story. Bye Charlie"
"See you later!"

No Charlie. You won't. I'm leaving. Whether it's Hockey, Eden Hall, this state, or this damn lifetime. I'm leaving (dw he doesn't try to kill himself he's just being dramatic)

On my way out, I get stopped by some men I've never seen before. "Son, you are an exemplary player. My god you were incredible!"
"Uh thanks. Appreciate it"
"Well how'd you appreciate a full hockey scholarship to the University of New Brunswick through our Junior Stars Program?"
"UNB? Isn't that in Canada?"
"Indeed. We have a juniors program where we recruit hockey all star students as young as 14 to train at our campus, while continuing their high school education remotely, and once they graduate, 100% guaranteed admission to our university"
I was stunned. This is the best hockey university in Canada offering me a free ride and an escape from all this. The two things I need right now. "I'll talk to my dad but I definitely want to join. Thank you"
"The name Jeff Bruins and this is Scott Daniels. We're the admissions officers of UNB and alumni of Eden Hall"

These guys are hockey legends at Eden Hall. I probably look dazed because they chuckle as they hand me a business card. "Take this son. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. The admission deadline September 20th and the program starts October 15th so you'd better decide quickly." Mr. Daniels adds on
"Here's a pamphlet for the program. Review it and get back to us. We'd love to have someone like you Adam" Mr. Bruins hands me the pamphlet and they both shake my hand.
"Thank you. I will"

They walk away, and with a new found happiness, I return to the Ducks, joining a group hug they've formed, making sure not to be close to Charlie. In that hug where I'm on the outermost layer of it I realize, I never actually fit in. I maybe a Duck but I'll never be one of them.

In that moment I fully decided. I'm leaving the Ducks. For good

W/C: 766