Knight Terrors

chapter twenty - one (forever)

Siobhan had spent her whole life hiding a part of herself, burying it deeper during her time with Roger. Hatred filled her body, jealousy towards those who could be themselves and love whoever they wanted, those who had found their person.

Roger wasn't Siobhan's person and she knew that from the beginning yet the chance of her feeling loved disguised and buried all of her concerns. Roger didn't make her feel loved, his love bombing ways just made her feel stupid. Why did he think she was stupid enough to believe him, why did she stay?

When Vivian came into her life, her view towards the world changed. Things felt lighter, it felt as though her existence finally had a purpose to someone, she felt so very seen and heard. It was all taken from her when the monster proposed, Viv took a step back, their coffee meetings stopped completely. Siobhan was lost once again.

Siobhan had never been one to think about her future, one that was beautiful with a fairytale like relationship, one that she was happy in. The blonde gave up wishing for this until she met Roger, she thought if he loved her she would feel something adjacent to all of that. She didn't love him and if he loved her he certainly didn't know how to show it, his constant abuse stripped everything about herself away from her.

On her wedding day when Vivian showed up it was like her prayers were answered, she followed the brunette blindly. Wherever she was going, Siobhan wanted to be there with her. Siobhan wanted to be with Viv forever and always, she was her person. The brunette was her knight in shining armour and everything following that made her feel like she truly was living a fairytale love story.

Viv made her feel loved and appreciated, she listened to everything the blonde had to say, she took time to learn what made her happy and what made her laugh. Jamie, Viv's son, gave her a new outlook on life. When he would laugh and ask for "Bon Bon" it filled her with love, she was part of a family at last.

Siobhan knew that if it wasn't for Viv she would've had to learn to cope with Roger's abuse for the rest of his life and although Vivian had told her that she would've found a way to get her power back and escape repeatedly Shib would never believe it. Vivian gave her strength, she bought light back into her life and she gave her hope. Without Viv her life would be so very different, she saw Vivian as an angel, her angel.

Her life was perfect. She had a lot of things to work through, trauma doesn't just disappear the minute you feel safe and happy. Siobhan knew that and knew overtime things would become easier to talk about but for now she had the love of her life and the most perfect step son.
This would be her forever.