Living A Fake Life (Slowly Editing)

Chapter 39

How the hell was I going to have divorce papers ready by morning? I was going ballistic if I was thinking that. Those papers took weeks to get. I groaned at my stupidity and stared off into nothingness.

Devin was still in behind that door doing who knows what, and I was still outside holding onto the railing. What was his problem? Why'd he storm off? It wasn't like it was my fault, at least I don't think it was. All I said was state that I wanted a divorce. It was something he should be happy about, yet he kissed me. He dared touch my lips with his after I clearly stated I wanted that bloody separation.

I laid my forehead on the cool metal, and looked at the glistening waters I had been admiring for awhile. Footsteps soon started to sound against the deck. I didn't look up to know who it was. He once again took presence next to me. He better not try something again, or there will be a man off board before we reach shore.

"I wanted to tell you something tonight," he said in a low and slow tone, tantalizing each word.

I slightly tilted my head to get a look at him and waited for him to continue.

"I didn't tell you, but I was waiting for the right moment." Don't tell me this is were the guy professed his undying love for the girl because I sure am not ready for that. Shit, I don't even feel that way about him.

"Bella's adoptive parents called." At the mention of that name, my head snapped up and I was standing directly in front of him. How the hell did he know about her? If I remember correctly, I never mentioned Bella to him at all during our little confession moment.

I let him continue without me opening my big mouth and bombing him with questions. Let him explain himself.

"They said it's time." Time. It's time. As in I can go see her?

"When I got the call, I had no idea what they were talking about so I talked to your mom and she told me everything."

Everything. Everything! Devin knew everything and yet, he still wanted me to explain the whole deal with Asher to him. How could my mom do that to me? She had even been the one who didn't want anyone to know anything about my past mistakes. It was even her who pushed me to have an abortion, which I instantly declined. I could not bear the fact later in the future if I did that, that I had killed an innocent baby, my baby. Then, she pushed to adoption. Saying it was the best option for her. That I would never be able to be a mother without the father by the side. She was so wrong and I knew it. I was capable to be a mother but it was her who was not capable, capable of enduring the talk and all the press.

When my stomach was starting to get noticeable, she sent me off to our country home so I could have the baby there and no one would know. Sidney came with me. She had been my wall throughout everything. She was more of a sister than a friend and I loved her for that. She was the only one I could ever trust.

When I was at the hospital about to give birth, Asher had surged into my room with tears trailing down his stubbly cheeks. I could still remember him asking me how I could've kept something like that from him. I could even more vividly remember when he was holding Bella, and soon having her taken from his arms because her new parents had already arrived to pick her up. He was heartbroken, more than I could ever be when I found him cheating.

He soon distanced himself from me until now.

"I would like to go with you, Samantha. I would like to meet your daughter." My daughter. She was no longer my daughter. I got those privileges taken away the moment I decided to give her up.

At that moment, I was trying my best not to let my tears gust from within. I could not show that I was feeble.

"She's not my daughter," I was able to say in a hushed tone.

"You're still her biological mother," he assured me.

"Biological means nothing anymore, since I gave up my rights as a mother when I signed the adoption papers."

"But you're still something to her." He gave me a weak smile and left me once again, only this time he did not go through that door. He went up to where the coxswain was steering the yacht.

He came back a few minutes later.

"Are you still tired?" Devin asked me when he was only a few feet away from me. I shook my head in response. "Good."

The yacht reached shore a bit later and I was escorted out by Devin. I was surprised when he did not head toward his awaiting car, but to the shore that ran along side the ocean. I stood still, watching him as he walked on.

"Where are you going?" I asked him. He turned his head and motioned for me to follow, but I didn't. When he noticed I was not going to move, he ran back to me and intertwined our fingers together.

"This better not be the part where you drown me to death," I said in a serious voice.

"It's not. I promise." Promise my ass.

A/N

Lana Del Rey just puts me in a mood to write.

Okay so I wanted to tell you  guys that I have an editor yay! I know how many of you notice my grammar mistakes so yeah (: Thank you so much @BlizzardCore for offering. Go follow her and read her book (: I will be putting *edited* on the edited chapters.

So here's more of Samantha's story. What do you think?

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

Please vote and comment.

Bye(: