Only One [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 25

Vanessa's P.O.V
What the fuck are you doing slut! I thought and I quickly pulled away and got up
"L-Luke..I gotta go" I said and ran out of the house and ran to my house and up to my room completely forgetting about my mom and closed the door and locked it. I knew that what I was about to do was terrible but it's the only thing I have right now. I grabbed my blades from my bottom drawer and held it above the skin on my wrist. I took a deep breathe and forced the blade across my skin. Blood oozed out and I missed this feeling so much drops of red landed on the floor and as insane as it sounds I loved it. I ran the blade against my skin multiple times and watched the blood spill out. When I knew I was done for today..knowing I would continue it since I started I stood up from the blood decorated floor and put the blade away and stared at my wrists, my eyes started to get watery and I started sobbing. what's wrong with me. I'm a fucking slut! you can't just make out with your best friends boyfriend! I lost my train of terrible thought by ringing coming from my phone "Nessie?" I heard Maddie's voice say "what?" I croaked "you've been crying!" she said sounding worried "she's crying!" I heard Michael's echoed voice say and I started to cry even more "Ness I'm coming over..well everyone is their all worried" she said "Maddie I don't want you too" I said and she ended the call. I looked up at the door to double check if it was locked and it was "she's fucking coming over!..how'd she even know I was at home" I said to myself. She's your best friend dumb ass I thought.
I quietly sat on my bed until I heard a quiet knock on my door "Not in a million years I'm opening that fucking door!" I shouted "Ness I will fucking break down the door if I have too!" she shouted back "Ness please.."I heard Michael say and I started to quietly cry. "Ness please open the door" I heard Calum say "Please" I heard them all beg. I sighed for the hundredth time and slowly got up and unlocked the door and they all fell in "Were you leaning on the door?" I asked and they all groaned "I'm guessing that's a yes" I said and they all got up "What are you doing here" I asked "You ran off and we were looking for you" they all said in unison "Oh" was all I can say. Michael ran up to me and grabbed my wrist "what the fuck is this!" he yelled and I pulled my arm away from him "don't. touch. me." I said firmly "Why Vanessa!" he shouted and ran his fingers through his hair "Can you all just leave" I said "Vanessa why did you do it? You promised me. Multiple times. Can I even trust you, my best friend, anymore?" Maddie said in between sobs. "Of course you can Maddie. Its just so hard sometimes." I say sobbing as well. I hated lying to her. If this is what she's like when I relapse cutting, whats gonna happen when she finds about Luke and I? she's gonna hate you! the little voice in my head said you always mess up..you are a mess up the voice said again "Maddie I messed up" I said as tears ran over my cheeks "I can't do this anymore!" I shouted "What can't you do Vanessa?" Maddie asked "I can't live like this! I always mess up! I was a mistake.. i-it's what everyone thinks I was a mistake!" I shouted louder "Just leave! it's not like you care" I yelled and pushed them all out of my room.

I took a picture frame that had a picture of me and Maddie when we were on the swings when we were younger, I held the picture frame for awhile before throwing it across the room and watching it shatter into a million pieces. this is why your a mess up