ongoing jarah oneshots from outer banks!

fears

note: hello! long-time no update! i have been extremely busy with finals, but i am home from college and plan to write now that I have a month off from school! hope you like this one :)

John B and Sarah lay side by side in a seemingly peaceful silence after a long day spent together at the beach. The only audible sound was the faint crash of waves along the dock, outside their master bedroom window.

Valerie had exhausted herself as she had spent most of the day running freely through the ocean, and was now fast asleep in her bedroom.

The faint sound of waves aimed to soothe Sarah's worries as she was deep into a spiral she often found herself in. The one where she questioned if she was going to be a good mother for Val.

Staring up at the ceiling, she thought about her childhood. It had been so loving, that was until she lost her mom. Her entire life was turned upside down.

When Ward had married Rose, she felt as though her mother was being replaced, and her family had been ripped apart. Yet, Ward never bothered to ask her how she felt about the situation. He never failed to make every situation or issue about money, and status.

Sarah let out a recognizable sigh that John B could not ignore, even if he wanted to.

Deep in his own thoughts, Sarah's sigh brought him back into reality.

"Hey." He started, turning over onto his side to face her.

"Baby, what's wrong? I know that sigh." John B told her as he searched her face for what seemed to be troubling her.

A small tear had escaped the side of Sarah's eye, slowing rolling down her cheek, but before she could wipe it away, John B's thumb beat her to it.

"Sar, why are you crying? Talk to me. Is everything alright?" He pleaded, silently praying she would open up, because he didn't want to pry too much.

Her expression was hard to read. John B could not quite put a finger on what she was feeling. She looked almost numb, trying to dissociate from the feelings she was engulfed in.

"I'm sorry." She started, her voice just barely above a whisper. She turned over and finally faced him.

When she looked into his eyes, she immediately let out a few more tears. Falling onto her pillow, and spilling out of both eyes, she tried to wipe them away.

"Please talk to me." John B whispered. Watching her cry without knowing what was plaguing her mind was a hell he was begging to escape.

"I'm scared." She started, gaining the courage to speak by the second.

"I know I talk about this often, but I'm scared. I don't want to fail Val  the way my parents failed me."

So that was it. Failing Val. That's what she was worried about.

Hearing Sarah say the words "fail Val" was not a foreign phrase to John B. They had many discussions about this exact topic throughout her pregnancy and when Val was a baby.

Val was five now, so it had been some time since Sarah voiced this fear to John B.

What was new, was Sarah expressing how she felt about her parents "failing her." While they have had many talks about her trauma, he had never heard Sarah refer to her parents as though they "failed her."