ongoing jarah oneshots from outer banks!

nightmares (but saved by you)

note: hello angels! i am officially on thanksgiving break and have a notes app full of oneshot ideas so here i am! i wanted to say a thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of those that have read, continue to read, and re-read my fics, i truly just write because i enjoy it so much and i am so thankful people care enough to read what i write, and have been so kind to me. i hit my one year of this book existing a few weeks ago which is absolutely wild! again, thank you thank you, i'm grateful for every single one of you!!!! <33this is set in between season 3 and 4 during the 18 month time jump, shortly after the pogues get back from el dorado! i hope everyone enjoys, happy reading :)

It had been two weeks since they had made it home. Returning to the OBX without Ward and Big John was different, yet tough for John B and Sarah. They tried ignoring the feeling at first, not bringing it up too much because everything was still too fresh. But the nights had been rough, Sarah hadn't been able to sleep all the way through, and John B himself was struggling. Wanting to make sure she was okay, he often failed to check in on himself. It was hard, losing their dads on the same day, all because they couldn't put gold aside and play father figures for their children. John B and Sarah knew they both had had their issues with their fathers, but their losses were still felt.

Tonight had been one of the better ones. John B was rambling, and Sarah loved how a simple kiss could shut him up, hence why many soft kisses were snuck in between his whispers. They had been up for a few hours with John B lying flat on their queen bed, and Sarah's head in the crook of his arm. He lazily ran his fingers through her hair, softly combing the tangles as he worked his way through each strand. Sarah was in and out of sleep. She knew John B was trying to lull her into a slumber, and she was trying to give in. Trying to erase the image she kept seeing: her dad getting shot and falling off that cliff.

She tried to focus on his fingers, the way she could feel his warm breath on the top of her hair. His soft voice told her about everything he wanted with her. He wanted the marriage so badly, and she wanted that too, so bad. Hoping that the day she could take the Routledge name would come sooner rather than later. She breathed slowly, trying to work on slow, relaxed breaths. "Hey, baby, let's try to get some rest." He whispered, his lips brushing her forehead, softly. She squirmed under his grasp, his other hand rubbing circles on her exposed belly from under her small sleep shirt. She could feel her eyes falling, letting herself focus on his fingers, both threading through her hair, and rubbing small circles across her belly. Finally letting her exhaustion consume her, John B felt her breathing even, knowing he had done his job. He too could feel himself falling closer and closer, and within minutes he was right there with her.

They had been asleep for a few hours. All of the other pogues were fast asleep in the house by now, too. Jolted awake by Sarah's loud shriek, he felt around for her instantly. The sound had ripped through the room's peaceful silence, and John B knew exactly what was happening. Trying his best to assess the situation even in his tired state, Sarah was sitting up, breathing heavily, and her eyes were full of tears. "Hey, hey. Baby, come here." He whispered, pulling her frame into his grasp, as she sniffled, trying to catch her breath.

They sat there in silence, all that could be heard throughout the room was Sarah's soft sobs, and John B's sweet nothings. He kissed the top of her head, ran his hands along her arm and back, trying to soothe her before she spoke. He didn't want to push, so he waited, letting her have the reins to decide when she wanted to talk to him. As soon as she had almost stopped her sobs, the image crossed her mind again, and she started up again. She hated herself for missing her dad, for letting him and his loss affect her in this way. "Be patient with yourself, baby." He whispered, just holding her and being patient with her as she cried. Her tears had stained her face, and she wiped them away as she nestled her face into John B's chest, breathing him in softly. Her senses were filled with his sweet scent, a combination of salt from the ocean and the smell she couldn't describe as anything other than him.

"I smell good, is that right?" He asked her, as a small giggle escaped her. "That's my girl." He cooed, loving the giggle he had gotten out of her. "I'm sorry.." She whispered, shaking her head against him as she could finally feel her body relaxing and coming down from its extreme levels of adrenaline. "Baby, no. There's nothing to be sorry for." He told her honestly, not wanting her to feel any sort of guilt for crying. This situation was a lot, and they were still so young. "But you don't react like this, I just feel like I'm being so dramatic, and it has so much of a hold over me." She told him, feeling insecure about her feelings dictating her actions in the way they had over the past two weeks since it had happened.

"Baby, we cannot help how we react. I promise you this is hard for me, too. Losing my dad was hard, but seeing you this way is even harder. It breaks my heart to see you struggle to keep your smile bright these days, when it once was the only facial feature you seemed to know." He told her, and Sarah let out a soft sob, thankful for how much this boy she loved so deeply paid attention to her. He truly knew her like the back of his hand, and for that, she couldn't be more grateful.

"You know that? You can't tell the smiles I fake?" She asked him softly, in shock that someone cared so deeply about her. He truly saw her, and no other man had ever even come close to this level of intimacy with her. "Always." He told her matter-of-factly. "When it's a real smile, it reaches your eyes, and there's a glow to you; you just radiate that happiness. When they are fake, they usually don't take up your full face. They also never reach your eyes. That's how I know my girl. I know how you think others want you to seem 'happy,' but I promise you don't have to pretend." She listened to him as he spoke, his words soft and slow against her hair; she was still wrapped up in his chest. "If it helps to pretend with everyone else, you can, but with me, I'm sorry babe, but you can't." He let out a breathy laugh, and she mirrored that. "I've got those Sarah Cameron facial indicators on lock." He told her honestly, placing another kiss on the top of her head as a way to seal the deal. "John B, I literally cannot fall more in love with you. This literally means more than you know to me. If I was with anyone else during all of this, I would be getting yelled at right now to 'toughen up.' But you? You are so patient with me."

He rubbed her arm softly, "—Sar.." He started, but she stopped him quickly, wanting to finish telling him how grateful she was to have him. Not only through this, but because he was the one thing that kept her sane, made her happy, and she'd never give up. "Wait. I need you to hear this.." She told him, his nod an indicator to continue. "I cannot express how much I appreciate you always loving me. Through my darkest days, you are still here at the end of them to hold me, to love me. It's insane to me that someone could love every part of me, and not get sick of the parts of me that I often deem unlovable. So, thank you. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I honestly swear to God if you don't marry me soon, I'll drag you down to the courthouse myself just so I can take your name." She smiled, pulling away slightly so she could look into his eyes.

"Sarah, I love every part of you, every day, no matter what is going on, I promise, I will have you." He leaned in, catching her lips softly. She kissed back immediately, leaning up into him as she felt his tongue swipe across her bottom lip, and without hesitation, she granted him permission inside. Tongues danced, Sarah whimpered, but it wasn't like the kisses they had shared before, rough and needy. Something had changed, maybe a mutual understanding, maybe love, and maybe them. But they knew no matter what this crazy life through at the pair, they would always be constant. Through nightmares, through horrific images, and through the happiest of days, John B and Sarah would always have one another.