This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

seventy

CHAPTER SEVENTY
[70]
song: undertow by ivy

"Where were you?"

Cassie had barely walked back inside, her hand still resting on the door handle as she kicked off her boots. Rafe had come around the corner, dropping the phone from his ear to speak to her.

"She just walked in." He spoke into the phone, then hung up. He looked at her, shrugging dramatically while he waited for an answer.

She stuck a hand out, her eyebrows narrowed in near disbelief. "Chill."

He blinked, taken aback. "Chill? Ch— it's nearly nine, you've been gone since this morning. I— you don't have a phone, no one had seen you—"

"I had to talk to my dad." She spoke, matching his irritable tone.

"Your d—" Rafe stopped himself, closing his eyes for a second. His jaw flexed as he took a slow breath through his nose. "You told me you were meeting John B and Sarah. When I called them and they said they hadn't seen—

"I had to tell him what happened to JJ." She said.

She hated how swiftly the lie fell from her lips. She hated how she said it because she knew he couldn't come back at her with anything that way. She hated how his face softened, and his shoulders fell as he tried to remind himself to give her grace.

She wish she hadn't said it. Wish she would've just come up with something that wasn't just some blatant guilt-tripping.

"That's fine, I—" he rubbed his eyebrows. "I was just worried."

Cassie bit at the skin in her lips. If he knew she was really doing she'd be sick. She didn't want anyone to know, she didn't want anyone to worry.

Because understandably, he'd flip out. Everyone would. No one is ever 'stoked' to hear that someone relapsed. And she didn't want to put that on anyone, didn't want them questioning themselves. 'Why didn't I notice the signs sooner?' 'Was it something I did?'.

But it was no one's fault but her own. She'd only ever known how to cope with grief with drugs. And the thought of doing so without them was scary. She had no practice in it.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, a slight shake to her head. "I didn't know you'd be waiting up for me."

Rafe took a breath, he nodded and walked back to the kitchen. He hadn't entirely calmed down from his freak out, but he had to let it go.

Cassie lingered in her spot for a moment, then walked after him. "This was on your porch."

He glanced behind him after picking up the whiskey glass off the counter. He eyed the envelope she held before taking it from her. "Who's it from?"

"Just said the county." She responded.

"Shit." Rafe hissed as he tore the envelope open and he walked toward the kitchen table. He pulled the papers out and scanning the letter. Cassie followed, watching his eyes move down the page.

"What?" She asked.

Rafe let out a deep sigh, then took another drink. "My mortgage statement." He lets out a laugh as he glances at it, then tosses it aside. "Which is two weeks overdue." He frustratedly rubs his face.