Velocity-> Jack Gilinsky

Chapter 51

SONG: X Ambassadors- Unsteady 

*Jack's Pov*

Two and a Half Weeks  Later

As I sat on the edge of my bed, stripped down to only boxers and my hair a mess, Olivia fast asleep under a heap of blankets, I realized that Shannon was right. After being without each other for two weeks, you'd expect that we wouldn't be able to keep our hands off one another.  It was obvious and heartbreaking; we weren't in love anymore. The sex definitely showed it; it was passionless. In just a matter of weeks, Liv and I had nothing left to give to one another. Our relationship wasn't full of lust and want; it was the both of us trying to find a way out.

I sat with my head in my hands, my elbows resting on my knees, contemplating what to do, as I felt the bed shift beneath me.

 "Something's wrong, what is it?" Liv whispered groggily, laying a hand on my bare shoulder. Her touch felt cold.

 "Nothing's wrong, Olivia." I didn't have the energy to explain myself, mostly because I couldn't explain myself.

"You've been so on edge lately, and you never want to talk about anything with me anymore." I could hear the hurt in her voice, turning to look at her. I studied her lips, wanting to kiss them badly, but I knew it would just make it harder for me to give her up.

 "What am I supposed to do, Liv? I'm not a talkative person." 

"Just tell me, Jack! God, I am so tired of these little games! Just-once- tell me what you're thinking!" 

"It was just... this was awkward and it shouldn't have been. I just- I didn't feel anything. And I don't think I did anything wrong...?" I immediately wanted to take back my words.

  Olivia hesitated. "... Are you seeing someone else, Jack?" 

"What?! Why would you even ask that?!" This was taking a different turn.

 "You're just so secretive lately." 

"I'm not having this conversation right now." I was finally able to calm myself down, knowing I had scared Liv. She remained quiet, probably imagining the worst. 

I continued, speaking in a low, monotonous tone with my back facing Olivia."...Johnson invited me over a few times while you were gone, and I had no idea Shannon was there. But there was just something about that that I missed. I missed not being attached to anyone. I missed the stinging and burning I felt every time I took a hit; I missed forgetting everything that was going on around me whenever I drank... I'm not ready to let that go, Olivia. I'm still not ready to do the right thing." I found the courage to face her, using Shannon's words. "I'm not ready to be what you want or need."

"...You miss being miserable? This isn't what life is about. It isn't about getting drunk and high just to avoid everything wrong in your life... You'd rather pick alcohol and drugs over me, Jack?" She whispered again, her lips quivering and tears pooling at the bottom of her eyes. "Is that what you're trying to tell me?" I kept myself from speaking, biting at the inside of my cheek. "I should've known that answer a long time ago... I guess I just figured I would have meant a lot more to you now than what I did in that parking lot."

"I'm indecisive! I don't know what I want."

"It's not me that you want, Jack, I know it's not me and I need to leave."

 "Please stay. You're the only person that's been stable in my life." I fought with myself, knowing I shouldn't beg her to stay; that would've been selfish. My heart sank as I searched her watery eyes for an answer. "Please don't go, Olivia."

"I'm exhausted. This is exhausting."

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*Olivia's Pov*

I was a mess as I entered my house, my cries and heavy breathing disrupting the silence that once was. I could hear a faint voice and I followed it to my parents' room. They both froze as they saw me, coming towards me. I backed away, shaking my head while sobbing.

"Jack?" 

"Congratulations, mom. You guessed right." I attempted to muffle my cries, but it only made them worse. I ran up the stairs and to my bedroom, throwing myself onto my bed. I knew that this time, it was actually over. There was no going back.

"I didn't want to be the one that said "I told you so"..." My mom sighed, heading  for the stairs, but my dad quickly stopped her.

"I want to be there for her right now, just like she's always been for me. Please." She nodded, going back to the bedroom.