MURDER

Mixed Feelings

Chapter 18

Alex(NF) POV:

Jake began to follow me around everywhere I went that day and I got annoyed. "You know you'll be fired from being a cop if they know you've been hanging around me" I growled at him narrowing my eyes.

"If I'm fired, I'm fired. I wouldn't want that... But if I get caught then its already done" he sighed softly. "Well I don't care if you get caught. Means 1 less cop to deal with" I grinned to myself. "But Alex, if I get caught I'd be hanging around you more" he said walking besides me now.

My grin turned into a frown "You know what. Keep your job. I'm just going to leave and never try to see you again" I gave him a slight untrying wave and started to walk away from him but he grabbed my wrist. I groaned in annoyance. "Let me go" I glared at him. "No" he said bluntly.

I ran my free hand through my Hair messing it up. "What do you want from me?" I asked. "I want to--" he started to say but I cut him off. "Help me? Use me? Or Just think of me as a child who has mental problems?" I looked at him. "I've heard these and been Used many times. Your not any different. I won't be easily "Helped' as you say you want to do. And I won't be used again. If you want to do actually something different then go ahead and try, but I'm leaving" I yanked my arm away from him and started to walk away from him again.

"Tch" I continued to walk but was grabbed again. I turned angry "What the hell Ja--" I was cut off by lips colliding with mine. My eyes widen and I pushed Jake away. I wiped my lips my eyes still wide looking at him. "Alex why the hell do you think I'm using you? You think I actually don't give a damn?!" He yelled at me.

I saw frustration on his face. I turned my gaze to not look at him. "Why the fuck did you just kiss me" I said softly. "Because I like Alex! I like you!" He confessed. My eyes widened more. Lies. "I'm telling the truth Alex! I wouldn't... Couldn't lie about this!" He moved towards me. Lies... Stop lying to me... Why are you so weird?! You tell me lies about telling me you love a man, me! "Please Believe me" he said softly getting way closer. I threw my fist to the side almost hitting him.

"You lying bastard!" I screamed and ran away from him. Stop it. I don't want this. I didn't do any thing to him. How can he like me?! I'm a killer, he's a cop. "If I get caught I get caught" his words went through my over flowing head.

I had to go faster. I knew Jake wouldn't just leave it at that. I knew he was running after me. I couldn't run home. I couldn't call for Father... I just couldn't face him after that problem earlier. "Alex stop running!" Jake yelled at me. "No! Fuck you!" I yelled back. Maybe if I try getting on a building and getting on the other side I could get away. No that's stupid. I'll just get rid of him the regular way.

I ran into an alley way as fast as I could, my breath heaving out of my lungs from running so much. If I keep this up i'll get dizzy and unstable again! But I couldn't stop running or Jake would catch me so I kept going.

I did feel myself become dizzy and myself slow down little by little. I turned another corner to an alley way but was grabbed instantly and pinned against a wall. I was gasping and huffing for air. Jake looked tired and out of breath to but his expression didn't change. He instantly kissed my again and I struggled against him.

I pulled my head away from him turning my head to look away from him. "S..top...I...t.." I huffed. "No. Not until you listen and believe me" he said softly. "I.. w...on't ..beli...eve.. you.." I still didn't look at him until he turned my head with his hand. His eyes looking into mine. "If I was lying would I have chased you? I didn't just give up half way like most people" he said his tone rising slightly.

"Why do you try so hard?" I asked softly my breath back. "Because as I said once before, I like you Alex" he said. He pinned me in an un movable way and kissed me not letting me go. "Nnn" I tried struggling away but couldn't get away. I felt Weak and small at that moment. His lips parted from him and he softly began to speak. "You won't get away from me. You're not going to be alone anymore. You won't just die alone" he said and hugged me.

My body just went limp from the hug and everything from before that. Please just stop it... I feel myself starting to believe you...and trust you a little... I don't want to feel like this...please...

"I won't let you force me away, and even if you tried I'd not leave you alone. I'd follow you until you accept this. So just don't try leaving like you've been cursed or you just heard something terrible" he said softly.

Why do I feel so weird...and Why is he still hugging me?