ɴᴏ ᴍᴇʀᴄʏ {ʟᴇᴠɪ ᴀᴄᴋᴇʀᴍᴀɴ}

Everything

{Mercy's POV}

Water.
I was immersed in it.
I could feel it lapping at my skin, swirling around my fingertips. It was cold.
   I thought it was death, but it was so much more.
I was reborn.
Memories flooded my mind. At first I thought they were dreams, but the more visions that came through the more I was able to piece my life together.
For the first time in my entire life, I remembered everything, and by "everything" I mean him.
I could feel his fingers around my wrist when I tried to go after Ronnie after I joined the Scouts. Felt them touch my hand when he helped me up after I slayed the Titan in the woods. Could feel them on my face when he comforted me in the trees.
I couldn't believe I'd forgotten his touch, but I soon figured out why.
Visions came back of the tribunal. The decision. The verdict. They decided to wipe my memory clear of Levi Ackerman to keep me from going full beast mode. Couldn't blame them really, I went batshit crazy when I found out he killed my mother.
I could still remember the anger, but I also remembered the forgiveness. My heart had been angry for so long, but I met him and he extinguished every fire it created.
I remembered the ball. The dancing.
I remembered that night when his skin was against mine and we couldn't seem to keep our lips off each other.
Everything came back to me as if it were a dream because that's what it felt like: a dream. Despite my hardship, despite my turmoil and heartbreak he made my life heaven. He graced it with his love, his heart, his presence. He completed me.
I also remembered how cold I'd been to him since my mind was wiped and I felt my heart break. Even though I was a complete indifferent ass to him he was always willing to help and take my side. He was always there for me even in my stubbornness and heartache.
    And then I remembered the baby.
    I realized it was his and my heart broke and mended at the same time. For starters, I was carrying his baby, and secondly, I was carrying his baby. I treated him so poorly, and he knew about my pregnancy and couldn't really be involved. He couldn't touch my belly or talk to them, yet the thought was a calming balm to my soul because the baby was his.
    I'd never seen myself as a mother. Never once considered it with the life I lived with my jumbled mind and fucked up history, but when I really thought about it I did want children. I wanted his children. He made me want to bring life into the world because they would be half of him. Half of my heart, my love, my everything.
    For a moment, I thought that I died. Thought that my life was flashing before my eyes, but when I opened them I saw a canopy of trees above me, the tired rays of an orange sun gleaming through their leaves. I could hear the chirping of birds and the crunching of branches as wildlife scurried through the under brush. There was a creek nearby, I could hear the flow of water.

    I really thought I was dead when I turned my head and saw my mother.
    Then I remembered her verdant eyes staring into mine right before I was crushed.
    She was looking off into the distance, paying me no mind, but her mouth opened and she began to speak before I could.
   "No, you're not dead," she said softly, still staring across the way with the wind rusting her hair and her knees to her chest. "Yes, your baby is okay. Yes, I'm alive."
    I stared at her dumbfounded, and in shock.
    How was she alive?
    I was laying on my back, and the moment I tried to move I was met with excruciating pain that radiated throughout my body, but began at my legs.
   Her head quickly turned to me and her eyes softened.
   "Don't move honey. You're still healing."
    She scooted closer to me, her back leaving the tree she was leaning against, and looked down at me before trailing her warm fingers across my cheek.
   I felt my eyes well with tears.
   I hadn't felt her touch since I was four years old.
   "Your head was hit by a large rock that fell from the underside of the Underground, and when you collapsed a boulder fell and crushed your legs. It was pretty extensive. It'll be about another thirty minutes before you're fully healed, but that just gives me more time to explain myself..."
    She looked away, her own eyes welling with tears.
    That's when the anger took over.
   "How are you alive?" I asked emotionally through gritted teeth and she offered me a side long glance.
   "I-"
   "My bastard father told me you turned your device off because you didn't need it to be a mother, so tell me how the hell you're alive!" I shouted angrily, my voice cracking.
    Her eyes welled with tears, but they didn't fall. She continued to stroke my cheek, wiping mine away.
   "Your father was always a risky man," she said with a half hearted smile. "He dealt with gangsters, weapons dealers, you name it. I knew we weren't safe. I told him I turned off my device, but I didn't because I knew the day would come that I'd need it."
   My nostrils flared, and I was ready to spit poisonous fire at her, but instead I let her continue. She gently pushed some hair from my eyes and continued.
    "Your father told you I came from Marley," she said softly. "It's all true, what he said, but even he didn't know the full truth... I came to Eldia as a refugee when I was a teen. I came straight to the Underground once I found out about it because I knew no one would bat an eye. I brought Mary with me, but she was more courageous and found a way to live above ground.