It's weird how fast time flies, I mean it felt like the other day Cam asked me to be his girlfriend, and it also seemed like yesterday Calum decided we shouldn't be friends, but here we are, a month later, and I'm still hurting. You would have thought Cam could have cured some of my pain but somehow it was still lurking there. I'm not sure if it was just the depression or the fact I'd only been here a bit over a month and already I had lost two people.
Don't get me wrong, I loved living here in Sydney with Jason and Eve but there was a hole in my heart that couldn't be filled no matter how hard I tried. I wasn't sure if that hole was where Effie used to be or where somebody has always needed to be. But it couldn't be filled with Cameron, nor Calum and Isabella only filled it a slight bit.
Every day for the past month I had been plastering on a fake smile so people don't get curious, but inside I just want someone to care, to recognize my loss and to love me. I know Cameron likes me but he doesn't love me. And all I have ever wanted is to be loved.
Even though I had been here for over a month, it didn't mean I didn't miss my old life. I used to be surrounded by loving people, Effie, John, Izzy, and I left it all. I just packed up and left.
I always said I wanted to get away from my old life, start fresh and forget the painful feelings of knowing my parents had left me, knowing I was severely depressed. But I never thought my new life was going to be as confusing and upsetting as this. If anything I was now hurting more.
I'm pulled away from my painful thoughts by Isabella whistling along to Paramore playing in the lounge.
"Come on, it's not that bad" Isabella reasons, catching on to my pain filled face, if only she knew the real meaning behind my expression.
"Bella, it quite honestly smells like death, I think I might pass out" I moan, pulling my sleeve over the rusted blood that I hadn't cleaned off my wrists from yesterday. I then bring the sleeve up to my nose to give the impression I was attempting to block out the strong stench of hair dye.
Isabella was the only person I knew who enjoyed dying her hair the most unusual colour, but she managed to pull everything off somehow. I guess that was something I liked about her.
"Why do I even have to assist you doing this, you would have been fine just doing it at yours" I ask, confused as usual.
"Because" she laughs. "Is it so wrong to see my best friend?" she raises an eyebrow at me, smirking slightly.
God, she was annoying. I rolls my eyes and chuckle subtly. "I hate you"
"Awww" she teases, pouting at me before sinking on the plush black leather sofa, stretching out face down.
"I swear to God if you get hair dye on my parents' sofa, they'll go hammy on you" I stress, hoping Is would get the hint and move to a different spot.
We both go silent and pull out our phones in sync, her probably to check Instagram or something. But I decided to shoot Calum a text, it was worth a try, right?
Sent (9:32) ~ Me
Squishy, are we cool?
Read. He freaking read it and ignored me.
Sent (9:47) ~ Me
I guess not then. Wow, Calum.
After waiting what seemed like forever for a reply, I give up and slide my phone into the black material of my ripped jeans.
"Hey, how long has it been now?" I ask, snapping Isabella out of the concentration she had on her phone and receiving a blank expression in return. I simply raise my eyebrow at her. "Your hair?"
YOU ARE READING
Alone
FanfictionI was all alone. I had no real family left and my one friend had enough problems. I needed someone to be by my side and no one was there. I might as well have left, because there was nothing keeping me there. I was tired of breathing. Nothing could...
