(Sid pov)
Being with Dee would be better than this.
I live in a basement and my "Wife" is a random girl who snatched me when i was walking home. At least she feeds me though. I was sitting on a rinky dink matress abd throwing a baseball at the wall.
"Oh husbandddddd!" She said.
"Yes, wife?" I replied. She said that if i don't call her that she'll throw a plate at me.
"I think i found a way to keep dee out." She grabbed out a book titled the book of bill and flipped to a page titled "anti-cipher tonic".
"It looks dumb, but i found the ingredients at home depot. We can make it!" She pulled out glitter glue, pickled child eyes, cardboard, mountain dew, and the most important ingredient: cheese. She stirred it in a pot, looking like a whole ahh witch before givibg me some in a cup. I reluctantly drank it.
"So?" She said.
"Well, i can't feel my toes." I said.
"I take that as a it didn't work. Cool." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.
"It's okay, wife." I said, patting her head.
"YOU MADE MY GLASSES FALL! THEY COULD HAVE BROKE!" She yelled, picking her glasses up and putting them back on.
"Sorry. Geez." I replied.
There was a solid ten minutes of silence. "So... when are we getting married for real?" She asked. I was flabberghasted.
"Uh idk march 20th?" I blurted out.
"Omg!! Guys mark your calanders part 2 of this chapter aka the wedding may or may not come out on the 20th!" She exclaimed to seemingly nothing.
"Uh... who are you talking to?" I asked, genuinely terrified.
"Oh, no one." She said.
I looked up the stairs. I saw that the door was slightly ajar. What if this was my escape? What if i could leave and rejoin civilization?
That's when i got shaken by my captor- uh i mean my wife. "SID JACOBSTEIN IF YOU EVER THINK OF LEAVING ILL LET DEE ROLL UP ON YOU."
"Okay, fine!" I said.
(Time skip to the 19th)
The wedding is tommorow. Im terrefied. She said that some goofy named diddy was coming? I dont know, but she seemed excited.
Then i heard three knocks on the door. Lights out. I crawled onto the matress and fell asleep.
(The morning of march 20th)
I was shaken awake by my wife.
"Huh...? What's going on?"
"The wedding, duh. Go get dressed in your suit." She said, leaving.
Oh no.
(ComputorRizz69 THIS IS SO STUPID IM SORRY)
YOU ARE READING
Allies stuff purge
Humormostly jokey- as these chapters go on you can kinda guess my least favorite character (you can also recommend what characters/scenerios you want)
