"Me too." -Leonard Hofstader (eating popcorn watching TV).
"No, it's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone." -Leonard Hofstader
"We're not living together." -Leonard Hofstader
"I beg to disagree. (Clears throat).
A: Girlfriend shall be deemed quote living with un-quote Leonard when she has stayed over for A: Ten 10 consecutive nights, or B: More than nine 9 nights in a three 3 week period, or C: All the weekends of a given month + three weeknights." -Sheldon Cooper
"That's absurd." -Leonard Hofstader
"You initialed it. See? L.H. L.H. L.H." -Sheldon Cooper
"Ok wait, I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen! I initialed another clause naming you my sidekick in case I get super powers." -Leonard Hofstader
"Hmm, yes you did. Now to review, the following provisions are here by activated: in the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two 2 separate shelves and 1 one communal shelf, the 3 three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal. Next, apartment vacuuming shall be increased from 2 two to 3 three times a week to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells. Third the bathroom schedule. Now, I'm giving to understand that women have different needs, so we'll have to discuss that." -Sheldon Cooper
"I'm going to bed." -Leonard Hofstader
"At least take this with you, and have Stephanie initial here here here here... and here. This states that she does not know nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument." -Sheldon Cooper
(Leonard takes the paper going to bed).
"Sheldon, we don't ask questions like that." -Leonard Hofstader
"And now you have an answer." -Sheldon Cooper
"I never slept with her I swear!" -Leonard Hofstader (Looks at Stephanie).
"In Leonard's defense, it wasn't for lack of trying." -Sheldon Cooper
"Thank you Sheldon." -Leonard Hofstader (sarcastically).
"You're welcome Leonard." -Sheldon Cooper (doesn't sense the sarcasm).
"Do I have to pull the paperwork out again?" -Sheldon Cooper
"I did. It was right here." -Leonard Hofstader
"Of course not, look at her." -Rajesh Kootherpali aka Raj (Looks at Howard).
"Believe me your feelings are just as important as hers." -Penny Teller
"No, that doesn't sound right either." -Leonard Hofstader
"Just tell her you need the relationship to move at a pace you both are comfortable with." -Penny Teller
"Yeah, I could say something like that to her. I'll go do that, thank you." -Leonard Hofstader
"Sure." -Penny Teller
"I don't know what that means." -Leonard Hofstader
"You had sex, didn't you?" -Penny Teller
"Um... a little bit." -Leonard Hofstader
"You don't always have to go with what the woman wants." -Penny Teller
"Ok, here's the thing, I'm afraid that if I ask her to move out, she'll just dump me." -Leonard Hofstader
"That's a chance you'll have to take. I mean, if it's meant to be, it'll be." -Penny Teller
"Very comforting." -Leonard Hofstader
