| Chapter Eighteen |

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Chapter Eighteen - present

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Chapter Eighteen - present

"I hope that you hug him extra tight for me. I hope he knows how much you love him now, because I have loved him for years. Tell him you love him, from me, but don't tell him it is from me. He needs to know that it's from you" 

Tell me, for the love of God, how I ended up holding a child, out the front of a gas station. This child, that was my brothers, was actually holding onto me, like it wanted me to keep holding it, even when the parents came back. I, on the other hand, was more than prepared to give this child away the moment its parents came back. 

The parents in question, was my eldest brother and his wife. "I really wish that I went with Bailey and Silas" I murmured to the child in my arms, who just held onto me tighter. I sighed, lifting him up higher, even though it made my skin crawl. I didn't like this one bit, and it was eating at me that I was still here, holding a child that my brother's wife had dumped in my arms. 

Rocky had tried to take him, but the child had known better, and stayed with me. Rocky and Aria, had pulled in after us, as somehow they had caught up to us, as Bailey and Silas had left first, while I had stopped to check on Jack, but I had gotten no response. He had apparently strictly told his brother to stay away, and that nobody could come near him, not even me.

It felt like we were drifting apart, for the first time in years. "Hey, G, do you want any-" Ryder took a questioning look out the door, to me, standing there holding a child. He furrowed his brows, before noticing the car that was parked next to ours. All I had wanted to do was walk in, get something to eat, and then be back in the car, but Aria had jumped out the moment I had, and dumped me with a crying child. 

She hadn't even said a word to me. So, I shook my head at my brother, before trying to extract myself from the tight hold that this baby had on my neck, but it wasn't working. I felt a panic attack start to arise, as the hands no longer felt like a child's hands around my neck, but rather the gruff feeling of a man's hands. My father's hands. 

I tried to breathe, but it was getting harder, as the baby held tighter and tighter. I could feel the tears threatening to peek through, but I was stronger than this. I had had my fathers body lie over my own, that this small feeling, should have meant nothing. It shouldn't make me on the brink of tears. 

"Okay, so we got you-" I wasn't sure whether or not Logan could see how my eyes had glazed over, but it felt like it was pretty obvious. Ryder was right behind him, and I knew that Ryder could read me with his eyes closed, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he dumped the bags on the front of his truck, and ran to me, trying to pull the baby away from me, but it was no use. He clung on tighter. 

I could feel myself slipping away from the moment, as I tried my hardest to keep my tears at bay with the fear that I carried with my everyday. I didn't want this to happen. This had never happened. No one, but Jack, was supposed to know how bad of a person I was. How badly I was beat, and that death had been something that I had welcomed with open arms on many occasions when I should have hugged myself tighter and hoped for another day. 

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