| Chapter Forty Two |

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Chapter Forty Two - present 

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Chapter Forty Two - present 

"You deserve to know how much you are loved. You deserve to know that you are now safe from your father, as am I. They will always haunt us, because they did unimaginable things to us, as children, but we are safe. We are breathing the same air as one another, without fear coating it"

Jack locks his eyes with mine, as I squeeze his hand with mine. The entire room has gone silent, making it feel like the air is evaporating from the room, taking us with it. I give his hand another squeeze, and I get a forced smile in return, as I lift my lips up as well. I know he is hurting, and I have no idea how to make it stop. 

The hospital door opens again, and I turn, my eyes meeting with someone I never thought I would. He looks as if he is slightly out of breath, but when his eyes have found mine, and then Jack's, he sighs in relief. He rests a hand on his chest, and I can tell he is being dramatic. A quiet giggle leaves my lips, as Jack finally squeezes my hand back.

"All right, I think we should all head out for a walk" Ryder makes the call to give the three of us some room, as he does a final check, as everyone has finally come to their senses and stopped sleeping. I get a few ruffles of the hair and a few kisses on my forehead, and it feels weird, knowing just how loved and supported I truly am. It is unnatural to me, even though I have felt it for months now. 

This isn't something new, yet it feels so fresh and raw. The door closes with a click, yet none of us say anything. Nothing is said, until the chatter outside the door has moved down the hallway. "Jack, I'm sorry, I had no idea" Beckett is the first person to say anything, and Jack only responds with a grunt. I feel so excluded, yet at the same time, I feel this heavily involves me. 

That I am the reason. I look between the two of them a few times, before finally settling on Jack. His head is down, his cowboy hat sitting atop it. Normally, he would be respectful and take it off indoors, but this is different. He is hiding something, and for once, so is Beckett. They are keeping something from me. 

"Someone tell me what is going on" I mutter, just above a whisper, but in a silent room, it is far louder than I expected it to be. Jack finally looks up, but not at me. The look on his face, is almost daring Beckett to move, to say something about the situation that he is clearly hiding from me. I drop my hand from his, crossing my arms over my chest. 

For as long as I have known the two of them, I have never felt so isolated from either of them. I had never felt like such an outsider as I did now. "Why don't you tell her, your version Beckett. The one you supposedly saw, and if I recall correctly, made much worse than you ever thought" Jack bitterly spoke, and I had never heard him spit such cruel words to our only other friend. 

"Jack, if I had known what was happening, I would have been at your side the second I knew. I did not know, and because I had not heard from you, I had decided to see you. I needed to see that you were still alive and breathing, is that so bad? Is it so bad that a friend of yours, other than Gen, checked in on you?" 

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 06 ⏰

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