Never Leave (BWWM)

9

Hi bunnies! ^.^

Lay Me Down - Sam Smith in MM.

Enjoy!

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

April is the first black girl I've ever dated. Don't get me wrong, I've seen some pretty good looking black girls, but I've never actually dated one. Before eighth grade I didn't date a lot, but I did date. The girls I went out with were all white except one, she was like Indian or something. Our relationship was so short I didn't even have enough time to ask the girl what she was.

That's middle school relationships for ya'.

And then there was Tracey: the orange haired, green eyed girl that I think I fell in love with. I don't really know, we were only in the eighth grade. But you know how people will see two teenagers that are deeply in love and be like "They can't be in love at that age, they don't even know what love is yet?" I think that's bullshit. I think that if you truly care for someone, and you'd do anything for that person to make sure they're happy, then you're in love with them.

I think that if you can barely go a few hours without speaking to that person, or every time you're around them you get butterflies in your stomach, no matter how long you two have been together, then you're in love with that person. And I think that if every time you kiss that person you feel tingles, even though you've kissed them a thousand times before, you're in love with that person.

And that's why I think I was in love with Tracey.

Because I'd do anything to see a smile on her face, and I'd always get those butterflies when we were with each other. And yes, we were young; only thirteen. But I felt feelings for her that I had never felt before. I would do anything to go back to that night and smack the shit out of myself for what I said to her. A stupid thirteen-year-old boy, with a beer in his hand and the contents of three others already toxicating his train of thought. I was stupid. I am stupid. I think that I am the stupidest person that I've ever met.

I think that I do stupid shit because I'm trying to forget that I've lost somebody that I think I loved.

I think I think too much.

>>>>><<<<<

Saturday

"What do you want to do today?" April asks me. We've been sitting at the park for a little over an hour just watching the ducks in the pond. No one else is here and it's completely silent between us. It's a comfortable silence; a silence I would surround myself in for the rest of my life if I could.

"I don't know. There's not much to do when it's this cold outside," I reply, looking over at her. We're sitting on the same swings we always do.

"Why do we always sit out here in this cold weather?" We both share a laugh before I answer.

"We're weird people, I guess." She smiles and messes with a few pieces of mulch with her feet. I study fer facial features, something I've found myself doing quite often. She has small bumps on her cheeks and fore head. I don't think anything's wrong with them but she hates them with a passion. Her nose is perfectly sculpted with its small rounded top, and her lips have just the right amount of plump. Her skin is like sweet, sweet chocolate and there's no better way of explaining that.

She's the epitome of perfection.

"Let's go to the mall," she says just a little above a whisper. I shrug my shoulders.

"The mall's pretty far away. How're we going to get there?"

"I'll call Autumn, we live right around the corner." I nod my head and after just a few minutes, Autumn's waiting for us at the entrance of the park.