Never Leave (BWWM)

14

Greetings, everyone!

Ready for today's chapter? I don't think you guys are.

Wake me up - Avicii in MM.

I hope you guys enjoy!

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

It's been two weeks since I met April's mom. It's also been two weeks since I last talked to April. After I left her house, her mom took all her devices and grounded her. She hasn't been out of the house since, unless it was to go somewhere with her mom. She'd texted me once from her sister's phone to tell me all of this, but hasn't had the chance to do it again. She'd said that she didn't know where her mom locked away her phone, IPod or IPad, but she'd keep looking. April had also told me that her sister was moving out of the house, and that was the reason she wouldn't be able to text me from her phone anymore.

This shit has been driving me crazy.

I've started to smoke more, and not just cigarettes. Kyle has some type of connection with this guy named Dylan, and he buys weed from. The very first time that he'd taken me to Dylan's house, I almost passed out from the plethora of different types of smoke floating around in the air. Dylan doesn't just sell weed, he sells other stuff too, but I'd never try any of that. We'd chilled in his basement and passed around the joint a few times, drinking some beers as well. That's another one of my new habits: drinking. It's fucking disgusting and I hate my self every time I pop open one of the bottles, but it helps so damn much.

If April knew any of this, we'd have been over by now. She says that drugs and alcohol can fuck up people's minds more than I'd ever know. One of her uncles died from a drug overdose. She never did specify what drug it was, but she's more than against any type of drug, and any type of liquor. That's why I make sure that she doesn't find out. It'd be pretty hard for her to find out anyway, but I still have to be extra careful.

I haven't slept nearly at all during these past two weeks, either. Tracey's been louder than she's ever been and it's honestly the most terrorizing thing that I've ever experienced; it's even worse than watching her kill herself. Seeing her kill herself was traumatizing, of course, but reliving it every night and hearing her taunt me about it in my dreams is much, much worse.

The bags under my eyes are getting heavier and heavier, and I swear all I do these days is cry. I miss my baby. I miss her voice, and her soft touch, and running my fingers through her hair. I miss her comforting me and keeping me safe from myself. I can barely take this anymore, and the worse thing about is that no one's noticed yet. No one except Mason. He knows. He knows that I'm slowly breaking and he's tried to help. He's tried talking to me, he's tried getting me to do things to take my mind off of everything, like skateboarding and drawing, but none of it works

"I don't like it that her mother thinks that you're some type of trouble-maker, but I am happy that she did what she did." Those were my mom's first words after I told her what April's mom had done. "You were barely home anymore, and you know we didn't really care for the girl anyway," she'd said.

"I know I didn't," my father had added. "She had a smart mouth and thought she was so witty and intelligent with her big words and waggish corrections. I could see the downfall of the relationship happening right before my very own eyes. Girls like her aren't for you, son."

I'd nearly killed my parents for their neglectfulness toward our relationship. There isn't one reason they have to not like April. She's the sweetest, most elegant, smartest, and most affable girl I've ever come in contact with. Her beauty is inexplicable and I'd never be able to put my thoughts into words the way she can. Her writing is out of this world and she's most definitely destined to become someone great. She's everything a parent would possibly want for their son; especially their son who's ex-girlfriend committed suicide.

Kyle isn't much help either. He's said that he feels bad about what April's mom did, but other than that, he's over at Dylan's house getting high, not minding anything going on in this house. He's gone all day, and I can't help but begin to wonder if weed is the only thing he's getting high on. It'd explain his sudden change in appearance and character, but I can't be sure. I have too many of my own problems to worry about Kyle's.

**

I've been walking around the park for almost three hours now. I'll sit down, walk over by the pond, sit in the grass, swing a few times, then start over and do it all again. I've came to the park and done this almost everyday since April got grounded. I'd never even noticed how much of an impact April's made on my life up until a few days ago. She's literally the light of my life, keeping everything bright and in order, and she keeps me out of trouble. Her laugh and thoughtful words drown out the voice telling me to do troublesome things. When I'm with her, my mind doesn't drift off to things that'll take away from my happiness, because just like me, my mind knows that I need all the happiness I can get.

Now that I can't be with her, that light is getting dimmer and dimmer, and that stupid voice in the back of my head that encourages me to do stupid things is finding it's voice again. She's what I've been needing; the medicine prescribed by my mental physician that keeps everything exactly the way it's supposed to be. I'm not always happy, and I do still think about Tracey a lot, but it's easier when I'm with April, and I don't think anyone understands that. Not my parents, not April's mom, not Mason, not even April herself. I don't even think I've completely come to understand it yet; but it's her. It'll always be her.

I walk over to the large unoccupied field of grass, keenly studying the wooden picnic table that April and I'd had our ice cream food fight at. It's the only one in the field, this one, single picnic table. I can only imagine the plenty couples that have sat down at this table and had evening picnics. I wonder how many of them are separated right now, every inch of their being aching with hopes that they'll be reunited soon enough. I run my hand over the worn out wood of the table, probably looking like some softie from a movie, but I don't give a single fuck.

I sit down at the table and dig through my pockets, searching for the cigarette and lighter that I know I brought with me. I finally find them both, lighting my smoke and inhaling a sharp breath of nicotine. I hold it in for a second, making sure that a bit of it reaches every component of my body, then I exhale. I repeat steps one through three for a decent two or three minutes, before rubbing the end of the cigarette against the wood then flicking it a little ways away from the table. I turn around and lean my back against the table, propping my elbows on the table on either side of me. Looking over the park, I notice that many of the people who were here earlier aren't here anymore. There are only a few families, and two women jogging the path that trails throughout the park. The day's getting late, it's probably seven or eight, but it's still pretty bright out here since it's the summer time.

I heave an exasperated sigh and let my head fall back, looking up at the sky. Have you ever noticed how no matter where you look in the sky, your eyes hurt anyway, even if you aren't looking toward the sun? I don't have some witty analogy or metaphor to go along with my observation, I just think it's pretty fucking weird. I close my eyes and let the sun beam down on my pale face, burning my skin. I'm just now realizing how fucking hot out here it is, and my all black V-neck and all black All Stars, (which I ironically wore with some thick ass black socks) aren't helping one bit.

As it begins to get darker outside, I decide that now would probably be a good time for me to start heading back home. Standing up from the table, I dust myself off, take a look around the dimly lit park, and make my way toward the exit.

"Tr-Trevor?" I hear a voice say. I know this voice. I know this voice all too well. It's that same angelic voice that's told me good night every night for the past half year. And it's also the voice that's brought me comfort. I turn around and face her, April.

"April?"

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

I know it's a cliffhanger, and this chapter isn't long at all, but I hope you guys enjoyed it.

You'll probably be left with this cliffhanger for a while, due to the content explained in the author's note I just posted.

May you all have a have a wonderful week and (if you're in school or you work) I hope no one ruins your week or messes with you. I love you all and thanks SO MUCH for reading!

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤