The Preacher's Daughter ✝

01 . ✝

Blossom AJ'a Higgins

After a while I disappeared, where people wouldn't have to judge me. Visual me in ways, that would hurt me. I couldn't grasp how pressured I felt around my mom and dad. Why can't they understand I'm dealing with a lot? Physically I'm around people, but emotionally, I'm all alone. My deepest fear is to be lost. At this point I am lost and scared how the outcome would approach. I glanced at the photo, I weighted about 300 pounds here. My eyes sparkled with a beginning of a tear. I held the picture close to my chest. Leaving no space. I've changed so much over a year. I ran away from my problems, I'll admit that, but at lease I'm not hurting as I was hurting before.

People fail to perceive that other people have feelings like me. I understand I was fat, so they choose to bury my strength and leave me weak, but I'm a stronger person now. I just feel empty, like something valuable is missing. I miss my parents able to console me. I especially miss my youth leader. She was really there for me. She knew my issues, my whereabouts, and everything I possibly felt. She encourage me to lose the weight, that I lost today.

Exercising mixed in with my pain. Every time I would feel useless, discouraged, worthless, and emotions that cause me to breakdown. I would exercise the pain away. I was emotionally angry. Why I had to turn out the odd ball of this corrupted world? Doesn't God know how much I'm hurting? Why isn't he helping me? Instead of ignoring me?

I ran around the park countless of times. I wasn't counting. I mostly ran till there was no breathe in me. The liquid that formed above my head, drip down to my nose. I wiped it away as I bolted across the bridge. My sweat intertwined with my tears. I thought since I ran away, all this would go away, but it seems it attacks me everyday and every way it could.

My head bobbed backwards as I felt my body rocking backwards. My thoughts were interrupted by a person who bumped into me. I glared at the men, trying to help me up. I groan at the pain that was rushing through my ankle. I covered my face with my hands. I was embarrassed.

"Can you get up?" The man asked, as his packs smiled at me.

"N-no." My voice cracked.

He lift me up bridal style. Lord knows how much I wasn't uncomfortable with this position, but the pain on my ankle told me to deal with it. People were never able to picked me up, cause I was so fat. I was a little proud, considering the fact that I use to be enormous and people wouldn't dear try to pick me up. He laid me on the bench near the swings were.

He elevated my ankle on top of his lap. I squinted my face. "Owe" I let out. He rub against my ankle. Just where the pain was running after.

"You're ankle is swollen. That's all, but I'll take you home if you'll like." He offered.

"How do you know I don't have a car of my own?" I asked, a little confuse.

"I watch you walk here. From the homeless shelter to the park." He told me.

"Okay." I said in a mellow voice, lowering my head.

He lift my chin up. "I wasn't trying to judge you or anything. What I'm trying to say? I love admiring you." He said smoothly.

A smiled appeared on my face. Nobody has ever said something so nice to me. My heart was more nervous than I was. "Thank you." I said, glaring at my fingers as I played with my them.

"Why you keep looking down? I want to see that beautiful face you concealing." He said, lifting my chin once more.

I could feel my cheek turning cherry red. The fact that he knew I live in a shelter home, made me even more into him. I wouldn't have to hide were I leave. I could just be myself, but I don't trust being myself, I might run him off. I wouldn't want that to happen.