You can never be ready

8. The first Night (Scott)

"Let's be in love together, shall we?", I proposed, pulling Mitch into my lap. I was amazed at that feeling. It was like he belonged there.

I heard him answer something, but couldn't grasp the words and their meaning as I was too distracted by Mitch being so close. I knew what was going to happen and felt beyond nervous.

What if I don't like it?
What if me liking boys or even him is just something I made up in my mind?
I don't want to hurt him.

But those doubts were all washed away when he connected his perfect, soft lips with mine. It was only a short kiss, yet it held so much emotions.

He looked at me afterwards, a slight blush evident on his cheeks. "How does kissing a guy feel?"

I thought about this question shortly. How did it feel? I didn't know how to put it into words. I only knew that I wanted to do it again. "Great... But I'm not kissing a guy, I'm kissing you", I answered. Lame one, I know. But then I took the opportunity to pull him in for another kiss, wanting it to last forever.

After what felt like an eternity we parted again and just looked at each other. Automatically I pushed a strand of his brunette, soft hair out of his eyes. He chuckled at that.

"I know... I need to go to my hairdresser" he said quietly.

"I just like touching you, Mitchy" I answered softly.

He flashed me a smile. "Go on, then" he whispered and started to rub my neck with his fingertips.

I shivered and closed my eyes, relaxing completely. I began to stroke his sides and his lower back lazily.

We stayed like that for a while. Mitch had leaned into me, his head rested against my chest.

I felt utterly happy. I wanted to scream, dance and cry in joy at the same time. I closed my arms around Mitch and pressed a soft kiss on his head. He smiled and sighed quietly. Other than that he didn't move so I suspected that he had dozed off. Fine with me, I was content with us being like that.

I leaned back and thought about the crazy ass ride that I called life. Only a few days ago I got out of my old relationship unsure about my identity and place in this world and now I was holding a small, sassy, cute, sexy and oh so much more brunette man in my arms that had presented himself as the solution to all my problems.

"Thinking about me, Cutie?" His voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked at him. His eyes were small, he was tired as hell. Yet, there was a spark in them that made my face light up in an instant.

"Yes... I'm just reminiscing the last days and how I got from being unhappy and unsure of who I am to you..." I returned. "I'm happy that you've found the courage to tell me about your feelings. I wouldn't have confessed mine if it wasn't for you doing it first."

He smiled. "I'm glad that I did, Scotty" he said. "And let's not forget Kirstie, here. She was the one to get me to talk to you in the first place."

That's when I started chuckling again. "She did? I was with her yesterday and advised me to tell you, regardless of my doubts, sexuality and everything" I explained. "We should invite her over tomorrow to thank her."