High Hopes

Twenty One - Rocks Sailing

My life is falling apart. I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to be going to an Ivy League college, for God's sake.  

Tanner moves away and sits on the bed. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, at least not now." I wipe a few tears away and walk towards the door. "Let's just watch Netflix."

He nods and follows me to the living room. Aunt and Uncle have been home frequently for dinner lately. Normally, they don't get home until late. I guess it's because of this new business thing.

We sit down on the couch and I grab the remote to set it  up. I feel his hand on my thigh and my eyes drift over to his face.

"What? Best friends do this stuff." He smirks. I just nod and go back to the TV.

"What do you want to watch?"

"Your choice."

I shrug and scroll through the horror movies. Nothing better than some blood to get Gabe and Jesse off my mind. "How about Oculus?"

"Sure. Why not?" Tanner snaked his arm around my shoulders and I instantly tense up when I press play. I think he noticed because he looks around the room before asking a question. "What's that?" I follow his finger as he points to my engraved guitar.

"My guitar." I walk over and pick it up off the stand.

"I didn't know you played." Tanner gives me a look as he runs his hands over the engravings.

"I also sing." I give him a small smile and put the guitar back.

"No way. You have to sing something for me now." Tanner wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"I don't think so." I smile and try to get out of his grasp. As kids. and even back home, we fooled around like this all the time. Now it's different. HE confessed his feelings for ME. This would be sweet if I felt the same. I just- I don't.

"Come on." He pulls away and makes me face him. "I am your best friend, your oldest friend." Tanner strokes my cheek and I pick up my guitar. Anything to get out of that moment. 

I think of a song to sing when I sit down on the couch with my guitar. Never be alone by Shawn Mendes comes to mind so I tune the strings a little bit for the correct sound. I haven't sang in awhile so this may be weird, especially in front of Tanner.

I promise that one day I'll be around
I'll keep you safe
I'll keep you sound

Right now it's pretty crazy
And I don't know how to stop or slow it down

Hey
I know there are some things we need to talk about

And I can't stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now

Take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone [2x]

You'll never be alone
When you miss me close your eyes
I may be far but never gone

When you fall asleep tonight just remember that we lay under the same stars

And hey
I know there are some things we need to talk about

And I can't stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now

And take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone [6x]

And take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone
Never be alone

My eyes teared up throughout it so I quickly wipe my eyes before anything real comes out. Tanner is just gaping at me. I have no idea what he thought of it. The doorbell rings, interrupting us from any discussion we were about to have from my singing. I get up and walk to the door. I open it to Jesse and his father.

"Hi?" I say, looking between them.

"We were invited over for dinner by your uncle." Jesse answered my unasked question. I nod and let them in.