High Hopes

Thirty Three - If Only

The police asked me several questions. I just gave them one word answers, not showing any interest in this conversation. I'm fine. I guess I should've seen it coming. I know Jesse will get off the hook for this, just from his father. I don't care. He can go marry Samantha. I'm sure she has the same amount of power he does.

"Hey, what the hell?" Kendra walks over to me and sits on my legs.

"Hey." I mumble, my eyes closed.

"Dude, why is your face messed up?" Kayla speaks, touching it lightly.

I flinch and open my eyes. "Jesse wasn't happy about the whole idea of me not marrying him."

"Dammit." Kendra rolls her eyes. "He's such an asshole."

"I know. It's fine. I don't care anymore." I answer monotonously.

"What's up?" Kayla frowns and gives me a look.

"I told Gabe I loved him." I reply. Their faces light up and I know they are going to say something happy so I cut them off. "He doesn't love me."

Kayla pulls me into a tight hug, muttering comforting words. Kendra is still on my legs so she stands up and says she's going to get me some water.

"Alyssa!" I hear Aunt Laura yell and her shuffling to the living room. Kayla pulls away so that my aunt could see me and she shakes her head. "I can't believe he did this. I'll press charges and get your uncle to -"

"It's fine, Aunt Laura. No need." I give her a tight smile and close my eyes.

"I'll talk to you later." She walks away and I can hear my uncle yelling more.

"I don't think you realize how serious this is." Kayla announces, sitting back down.

"I do, Kay. I went through enough this year." I shake my head.

"True. It's just that you really should think about this one." She sighs.

"Here." Kendra hands me a glass of water, so I sit up and sip it.

"I'm getting my cast off next week." I announce, looking down at my wrist.

"Good. It's been long enough." Kendra takes the water back from me and puts it on the coffee table in front of us.

"Where is she?" I hear a familiar voice ask, causing me to tense up.

"Do you want us to stay?" Kayla places her hand on my leg.

"No." I give them a grateful nod, dismissing them.

"What happened?" Gabe stands in front of me with a look of worry etched into his face.

"Nothing of your concern. Shouldn't you be spending time with your little brother?" I purse my lips and look away from him. 

I know I shouldn't be mad about the fact that he doesn't love me. No one can help who they love. I guess this is just my way to get myself to stop loving him.

"It is my concern. Your face is bruised and there are cops here." Gabe shakes his head disapprovingly.

"How did you find out?"

"Garrett. Seriously, what happened?" He sighs.

"Uh, Jesse didn't-" I start until Gabe rudely interrupts.

"I'm going to beat the crap out of him."

"Gabe." I grab his arm when he turns away. He looks down at my hand and I immediately retract it back to my lap. "Look, it's fine. I honestly could care less. This was his revenge and that's fine."

"No revenge should be beating you up." Gabe bites his lip and sits down next to me on the couch.

"I should've seen it coming, really." I shake my head and sigh.

"No, I should've." He mutters.

We're silent after that, just awkwardly sitting there. He's a foot or two away and I'm sitting up needle straight. I don't know if I should talk to him about earlier or even how Gavin's doing. Honestly, I should pull myself away from all aspects of his life and that would eventually make me feel better. Right?

"Alyssa, honey, come on. I think you should go to sleep. You aren't going to school tomorrow. I want you to get that cast off too, sooner rather than later." Aunt Laura walks in and smiles sadly at me.

"Okay." I try my best to stand up and follow her up the stairs and past all of the people now in this house.

"I love you, okay? Know that I am not leaving your side for the next few days. I think this has been enough of you getting hurt." She kisses my forehead.

"Aunt Laura, I kind of wanted to still go with Mike back to Wisconsin for the holidays." I offer hopefully.

"Maybe the five of us could make a trip out of it." She smiles and looks down at her stomach.

"I'd like that." I give her a grateful smiling before climbing into bed. "Could you just tell all my friends that I'd text them later?"

"Of course." She flicks off the light and gently closes the door.

I'm left with the darkness and my eyes involuntarily find their way to my balcony, looking at the night sky filled with stars. I flashback to the time Gabe walked in, right after I got engaged. If only I could go back in time to the night I danced with Jesse and spent the night at his house. If only I could go back to that club and Gabe was with another girl. If only I could go back to the day I came home from school and told my parents I wanted to be an artist, Mike laughing at me and saying that I couldn't draw a circle. I wish I could go back and forget this all. I thought that meeting Gabe here would fix time. Now, I would give anything to go back to Wisconsin and forget about it all.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

A/N: yikes. anyways, the next chapter is fast forwarding a few months, the graduation/prom to be exact. the plan is unfolding and honestly im so sad/excited but pls hang in there ;)

hailey

vote and comment