Martini Kisses (epistolary) ✔️

special chapter #1

warning: not edited or proofread. may contain lots of errors ~

the way he waits ; the way she heals

THEIR NEW SET-UP confuses her. She knows what she agreed to, knows it's what they needed to fix things. Kai wanted them to go back to being friends and she knows he's right, but what does that mean exactly? How does it change their everyday lives? In the haze of her feelings, she'd admit she didn't have much time to think it through and said yes without understanding all the details, but now, back in the comforts of their place, the questions and the nitty gritty of this new set-up had her second-guessing.

How does one go back to being friends with someone who holds not just your heart but also your soul?

Milly realizes she understands only in theory but not in practice.

She looks at Kai, whose eyes are closed, whose breathing comes out steadily under her palms, and wonders if she's the only one who doesn't get what it means.

Does being friends mean they can't be how they were before?

Convinced that Kai has fallen asleep, Milly tugs the blanket over his chest and makes a move to leave. But a hand snakes around her waist, holding her in place.

"Where are you going?"

She darts back to see him watching her. "I'm going home. It's late. You should get some rest."

"Uuwi ka pa? Bakit? May lakad ka ba bukas?"

"Wala naman. But..."

Kai gets up, now facing her. "Milly," he calls in a firm voice that lets her know she got him ruffled. "What's wrong?"

She looks down at the space between them, hesitating to answer.

"Milly."

She bites her lower lip. "It's nothing. I'll take a shower lang."

Milly disappears into the bathroom before he can prod further. She doesn't know how to open up what's really bothering her. It hasn't been that long since they talked at the theater earlier. Despite reconciling with him, she can't help but still feel nervous, as if what they have will break prematurely if she adds more pressure to it.

She trusts Kai, no doubt about that. She's just... fidgety.

Luckily, the shower helps to ease her thoughts. She's changing into her night dress when Kai knocks on her door before opening it.

"Bakit nandito ka?" he asks, a frown set on his face.

"I'm preparing to head to bed."

"Dito mo gusto matulog?"

She creases her forehead, getting more confused. Wasn't she supposed to sleep here?

"Lilipat ko na lang mga unan natin dito," he says and is about to head back when she calls him.

"Wait," she says. "Are we sleeping together?"

Now it's his turn to get confused. "Ayaw mo ba? If you want privacy, then—"

"No, no!" she corrects. "I'm just..." Milly draws a long sigh. "It's just... I'm confused with our set-up. Since we're no longer in a relationship, I don't know if it's appropriate to sleep in one room while I'm here. Friends don't do that. At least, my friends don't."

Kai searches her face, and then he's bridging the gap in a few strides. He takes her chin with his fingers and directs her gaze back to him. "Is that what's been bothering you since we got back?"