Barely Captivated

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Love has its own mysterious ways of making us feel things we never expected—emotions so raw and overwhelming that they catch us completely off guard. Hindi ko din maimagine 'yong sarili ko noon na makipagrelasyon.

It wasn't that I didn't believe in love, but rather, I had one thing firmly etched in my mind: I would only give my heart to someone who didn't exist in the real world—someone who lived within the pages of a book.

The characters I read about were too perfect, too intricately written, their words and actions too deeply moving. Iyong tipo na walang totoong lalaki ang makakapantay sakanila. Because they were thoughtful, broken in beautiful ways, loyal beyond measure, and spoke like poetry. My standards, shaped by fiction, became impossibly high. I began to accept the idea that no one in the real world could ever reach them.

But then—something changed.

I met someone who felt like he had walked straight out of the stories I adored. He has a mind that held the kind of thoughts that usually only lived between printed lines. At iyong nakakatuwa pa? He was real and alive. And for the second time, I questioned everything I thought I knew about love.

Ano nga bang alam ko sa pag-ibig?

Akala ko noon, pag-ibig ay puro kilig lang. 'Yong masaya, magaan, at walang komplikasyon. Iyong tipong bibigyan ka ng peace of mind, ng ngiti araw-araw, ng mga eksenang parang sa pelikula lang. Pero habang tumatagal, nare-realize ko... hindi pala gano'n. Sabi sa akin ni Mama, Love isn't always sweet. It's not always soft. It can be confusing, heavy, even painful at times.

Pero sa ngayon, isang bagay lang ang sigurado ako—nagmamahal ako. Sobra. Buo. Walang bawas. Wala akong ibang alam kundi ibigay ang lahat, kahit hindi ko alam kung saan ito hahantong. Hindi ko muna iisipin kung masasaktan ba ako sa dulo, o kung matatapos lang rin ito tulad ng mga istoryang hindi nagkakatuluyan.

At kung sakaling masaktan ako...

Then I will hold myself accountable.

Because I chose to love. Walang pumilit sa akin. I knew the risks, and yet I still jumped—eyes wide open, heart fully exposed. And that, I think, is what makes love real. Not just the butterflies, but the courage to face whatever comes after.

Pero sana naman.... hindi ako masaktan. Sino ba naman kasi ang may gusto 'diba? sana lang ay tamang lalaki ang ginusto ko.

Napangiti tuloy ako habang hawak-hawak ang cellphone ko. Nakadapa ako ngayon sa kama at pinagmamasdan ang pending message sa messenger ni Theodore.

Pinagiisipan ko kung ise-send ko ba sakaniya or ano. Pero sa huli ay napagdesisyonan na isend ko pa din sakaniya.

Harana:

hi😍 crush✨ kahit😓 si 😟 detective 😌 conan🥰 pa😭 ang👊 tawagin😜 mo😢 hindi😿 malulutas‍🙈 kung👻 pano💩 ka😭 naka-slam🤔 dunk💃 sa😳 puso😉 ko😯 kahit😍 ilang😅 bleach🧑‍🦳 pa ang💅 gamitin👉 mo💋 hindi🙅 mo👀 matatanggal💔 ang🐱 mantsa🙊 ng😩 pagmamahal💗 ko🐱 sayo🤔 kaya inipon😌 ko😊 lahat😳 ng🤓 dragonball🐉 para😟 humiling🥺 na😟 mahalin💘 mo🐱 rin✨ ako💥 para💢 makompleto🧑 ang 🧒 one piece 🧩 sa👉 fairytale🧚 ng🧒 buhay🧘 ko‍🕺

It took less than a minute before I saw the three dots appear in our conversation. Napaawang ang bibig ko nang makita kong nag-reply siya sa wakas. Isang video ang sinend niya na hindi ko alam kung saan niya nakuha. Then, as if that wasn't enough, he even typed out the words being said in the video.

Theodore:

Sent a video.

Hi ip ip ip ip ip hi