Fate [h.s]

Chapter 38

Harry's P.O.V
It's Sunday. I wonder what Liliana is doing. Shit no I don't.

I'm back to not sure about my feelings, then saying I hate her, then saying I do like her. I just don't understand these fucking feelings. I've never had them before, and of course, she comes along and fucks my choices up. Ive never been so conflicted in my life, and I've also never felt so... Bad? I don't even know. If it is the feeling of bad then I hate it. I want it to be gone. Why was she even put in my life?

I knew I wanted this girl deep inside me. I knew I would want to be in between her legs for the rest of my damn life, hell, I wouldn't skip a heart beat at the chance of being there. Usually when a girl I think is hot I fuck them right on the spot, but Lili she is different to me. Honestly if I could open a book and read about what purpose this girl has in my life then I would read that book and take in every word. I just don't understand. My life is understandable.

I've been sitting in this uncomfortable bed for about 2 hours just thinking about her. Why? Because I have finally admitted to myself I like her. I really fucking like her. And the time I finally figure out I like her, I fuck everything up. I know she like me because of she didn't I wouldn't have seen her eyes water when she saw me between Raina's legs. She does that when she is trying not to cry. Is that sad I know what she looks like when she is trying not to cry? And I've only known her for what like 2 or 3 months...

I sigh at all the thoughts I keep having about Lili. Just saying her name in my head, let alone out loud is fucking music to my ears.

I remember when she told me about how no guy ever liked her, or ever had any thought about fucking her brains out, I don't know how. She has total control over my life and I hate that, but she does. She now has a man that would do anything to have her like him... Again. What a selfish dick I am. I got a beautiful and innocent girl to like me, and I do that to her?

Again I sigh. I have to stop thinking about this.

I pull the covers off of me and sit up in my bed. I cup my hands over my sweaty face and rub, trying to wake up just a little more for the day. My alarm rings for work. And I just turn it off. I have been awake 2 hrs before I even had to.

I have to wake up the soulless Liam up again. He's a fucking drag to get up in the morning. I don't even know why I waste my time.

I don't even waste time nudging him, I use my foot to kick him hard off his bed. A loud bang follows his impact onto the floor. He lets out a small grunt and whispers a "fuck you" to me. Hey if I didn't help he would be jobless. Not that I care.

I again just pull of my old white T-shirt and put on a new clean one. I slide on a new pair of boxers and black skinny jeans.

Off to Jasper Dicks!

---

After about 3 hours on the shift I get a text from Raina, the new slut in town I hate.

Hey Harry, what the fuck did we do. Lili's mom was just taken off of life support about an hour ago. I know she needs to realize you'd never be with her, and I told her that, but damn this girl is in the worst place in her life. Why did We do this. -R

Oh my god. What was I thinking. Why did I do this to Lili. The fact Raina said that to Lili that I would never be with her makes want to be with her. I wish I could just hug her and give her a kiss and tell her everything will be ok. I would be able to if I didn't do that to her.

Where is she now?- H

I reply. I have nothing else to say to her.

She's back at home. Apparently she went to see her mom yesterday right after she nearly fucking killed me... At like 1 a.m- R