Sunshine

First snow

I tossed stones across the yard; it hooped across the path until it hit Wal in the face. I sighed, straightening out and peered around the yard. I had lost track of the days since he had left, but the air was bitter, and the nights lonely. It was far past the normal amount of time he would have gone for. I counted at least 30 sleeps at least, 30 nights that he hadn't returned.

I don't know why he would be gone for longer, but I was worried. Also, why hadn't Wal awakened? I leaned into my palm watching him still laying where the beast had disposed of him. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the yard for the first time since arriving here.

There was no movement, just a slight wind. I shivered and walked around the yard, checking it out. I didn't risk going near Wal. At least not yet, not until I was sure he was completely out. I slowly snuck my sword away first and ran back to the building. I examined it, please to see it was still in one piece. It was spotless, and I prayed he had not taken a human life with it.

The beast was right, making that deal with Wal was foolish and had I been given a few more days I probably would have just tried to give him my blood on my own. I shook my head; I was glad that Kakashi was up though and what was done was done. I learned my lesson without having to pay too heavy of a price, as long as Wal took the hint.

I did my rounds for the rest of the day, jogging around the building, using the furniture as obstacles to train. I slowly was regaining the mobility I once had; I wasn't sure what was different. I was recovering fast, healing faster and my strength returned to me. I just needed to relearn the blade which I hoped wouldn't be hard, since I had done it so well before.

Something in me told me I needed to; something wasn't right still. Plus, since Kakashi had returned and I had dropped this blade? I had been nothing but a burden, even if he wouldn't admit it, or even if he would prefer it. I couldn't run from some of these fights, and I know I couldn't from future ones.

Ren had trained me to fight these creatures, and right now those creatures are running around destroying lives...

I thought back to the old man we had given a ride, was he still alive? I thought of his daughter and her child. My mind shifted to a darker world, them, dead and lifeless on the ground. I gritted my teeth, my face falling into my hand as tears fell. Stupid, so stupid. I punched the wall beside me. I was stronger than this!

I swallowed the pain and loneliness and threw myself into training again. I remembered what needed to be done, and it was easier than I thought it would be to remember everything. It was as if it was built into my body still, the swift movements, the piercing focus and inhuman speed. Although I was getting stronger, I was getting more worried, more afraid and there was that heat building up inside of me again.

Another month passed, the icy cold of winter was here and strong. I had to remind myself that I needed to ration food, but I would find myself feeling ravenous. It took too much food to quell it. It wasn't until I found myself staring down at Wal, feeling a pulsing urge from within that I began to have an inkling of why it was.

I thought about when I had fed from Kakashi and the wonderful liquid that poured from him. Would Wal taste the same? My mouth watered at the thought of the blood, the black ink hidden under his skin. I was craving blood... not just human blood but vampire blood. The realization was alarming.

What do I do? Kakashi was still gone, was he hurt? I felt it in my soul that he was still alive, but he was trapped... and hurt. My baby is hurt; a rage bubbles in my gut. I was running low on food; I was running low on patience. Although, I think having more patience might kill him.

I looked back down at Wal with determination. I need to train more, I was better but not like before... I needed someone to fight that was moving. I shoved the craving down, hoping I would have more time before it would surface again.