Lie or Die | BLOCK B B-Bomb

Chapter 23

It felt like such a long trip home, even though the apartment building was only a few minutes away from where we had gotten a meal. What felt even longer than the trip was the amount of time I had been with the boys.

Thinking about it, I tried to remember a ton of stuff on the way home, things about before this and during this. I got to the point of remembering even the date I left Namsangol. It was September 29th that I left to come here, which was the same day I met Jaehyo. September 28th was the worst day of my life, when Jiwon attempted to rape me, but failed, and then accused me of it. Checking the date today, it was October 27th, also known as 2 days after we left the restaurant where U-Kwon was announced missing on television.

During the passing two days, I hadn't said one word to B-Bomb. I even slept on the couch. Also, Taeil asked a few questions about Jiwon and Sookyo, but nothing extreme. But it wasn't like I cared.

I just wish I would've let Jiwon do what he wanted with me. I'm beginning to regret everything I've done here. Yes, I regret coming and meeting Jaehyo. I regret walking into their apartment. I regret filling out the application to work at The Chatterbox. But what I was regretting the most lately, was falling in love. I came to get away from Jiwon and Sookyo, not to put myself in emotional danger.

"I'll kill you, even if it's the last thing I do."

I hadn't remembered those words in a long time. I hadn't thought much about the little things that kept me up at night. Things like Jiwon threatening me, or Sookyo saying I would be dead, even if it killed her. I also started regaining the memories of good times with Jiwon, and even Sookyo at times.

There was a time when Jiwon was my best friend, it did exist. But it was long ago. Back to September 27th. He was my best friend, not including Jera, up until that day. That day changed literally everything that ever existed between the four of us, Sookyo, Jiwon, Jera, and myself.

I still wondered occasionally about my mother as well. She told my uncle and cousin to protect me, which failed, and also to keep a secret from me. Some random times, I would wonder if maybe my father never died, and that she was only going to pretend to kill herself, or if there was an even bigger secret than that. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be revealed anytime soon.

I wanted the most out of all things to find U-Kwon and Hyunsik. It was my fault they were gone, and I knew that. It was all on me until I found them again. And it had to be me to find them, or I would feel even worse about it.

There was something I wanted just a bit less than that. I wanted Minny back. But the note he gave me, it hurt me more than I hurt him, even if he seemed upset by me ripping the napkin up afterward. He had no reason to be upset because I was mad at him.

Then there was the one thing eating at me, minute by minute. It would drive me insane, so insane. I had never questioned it before, but when Jiwon was trying to rape me, I mentioned the suicide incident I was in, and he nearly started crying. He even warned me. He was pure evil, the way he made afraid of him, then had me thinking I could trust him.

I had never fully explained to him about the suicide incident either. What happened was much more than just 'Sookyo catching me hanging a rope in the garage'.

"Open this damn door, Raeki!" He pounded on the door. Jiwon always knew exactly what I was going to do. "Don't even dare think about doing it!"

The piece of glass I was holding in my hand was piercing my hand where I grasped it with the most forceful grip I could. Blood poured out, but I ignored it, letting the tears stream out as well.

"RaeRae! Please, don't hurt yourself!" He begged. I heard with great detail, the pain and crying in his voice on the other side of the door.