A Player's Responsibility

Josh's view chapter 2 part 1

The strangest thing happened last night I dreamt about her. Not her in particular. This girl was perfect, she had  her hair out  flying beautifully under the summer breeze, she was wearing a yellow summer dress, she wasn’t wearing glasses and she looked beautiful like a goddess, smiling and laughing under the sun like there is no tomorrow with me bowing at her feet. then suddenly she grabs me and starts to kiss me passionately and I hold unto her for dear life. Holding hopeless and never to let go. Then I woke up this morning and knew I was in love. But it was impossible the girl I dreamt about looked a lot like sally but can never in a million years be sally. I mean for one she was beautiful, she didn’t wear dresses and she wore a dresses that showed off her features and my! This girl was hot. It was definitely not sally.  I thought to myself as I gather up my bedspread to wash in the washing machine, to eliminate the evidence of last night escapade.  (My mom would be grossed out if she saw it).

Later that day in school my girlfriend Chloe started to get clingy and I hated it I know she was hot, but there are a million hot girls out there who are even hotter than her.  I had been dating her for a week which is a date record for me (my relationship usually last no more than 3 days thanks to my dad for screwing me up in that area) and she is asking me why I didn’t call her last night or text her. I told her I was busy and didn’t have time for all these crap. And she went mental on me shouting and screaming all kind of stupid things in front of the whole school. I had to be held back to prevent me from hitting her

Then at lunch I went to have lunch with my friends in the canteen to talk about my latest’s conquest (it has filled 3 books so far no kidding, me and Dave are keeping record). Then I saw her in the school canteen and she saw me too. Sally Williams.  A confident, smarter and hormonal driven me will walk up to her tell her she’s the girl of my dreams and risk being ridiculed by my mates for the rest of the school year and just be happy with the girl l love. But a smarter wiser guy knows that it would never work out she’s too unpopular even to be considered my girlfriend, she will never fit in with my circle of friends. And I am bond to screw this up, I don’t know how to love, I don’t even believe in love. All I know is that I love my father and I thought he was hopelessly in love with my mom until he walked away when she had cancer without as much as a goodbye. I can’t believe I’m thinking about this.

I’m a player and she’s a pastor’s daughter it will never work in this lifetime. I’ve sinned too much to be worthy of her and she’ll never ever go for me. That’s why I turned away and went back to hanging out and messing about in the canteen with my friends.