What If...(Kotlc)

But can she?

I stood there with my hand poised, ready to knock.  I took a deep breath, trying to steel my nerves and walk back into the life of my sister, my family that I left two years ago without a word.  

I tried to weigh the options as fast as I could the pros of letting them know I was alive, but then if Ruy got out, he'd insist we live married and I wouldn't be able to see them, and he would most definitely leverage them against me. He could even erase my memory again and I would forget them.  I started to back away I can't do this, not now not when there's so much uncertainty, maybe I can send a letter. 

Maybe I'll come in the night, tape it to Amy's window. For now I have to leave I have to fix my life, I can't have Ruy near my family, I can't let Gisela know that they are still in my life. Still a viable tool to threaten me with. If only I hadn't gone with Gethen, I wouldn't have ended up here. I shouldn't have talked to Fitz, I should have faked being sick and stayed at home I would still be with my family I wouldn't be married to Ruy. 

I turned away fully and ran down the road, I refused to let my messy life meddle with my family more than it has. Once I've got Ruy in Exile and sort out the rest of the mess I'm in then, I'll come see them. 

I hold my home crystal to the light as I set my shoulders and prepare myself to see Gisela again. I have to prepare physically and mentally for the trial and I have to return to school. I close my eyes as the warmth takes me home and I let my focus hold me together.  

~*~

I opened my eyes, seeing a very concerned, Keefe standing there. He held my spyball in his hands. His back was turned and I reached out to grab his shoulder I need to be reassured that waiting is okay. Before I touch him he turns arms open to me as I let myself rush into his arms, as I start to sob. 

I know he's trying to calm me, I just can't understand what he's saying. It's like he's not speaking my language. It makes me hyperventilate, maybe Forkle was wrong when he created me, maybe I should just go back to Ruy and live the rest of my life with my memories erased.

Could I do it though? Could I leave Keefe like that, he would have his memories, Grady and Edaline, and Tam and Linh and Biana, could I go without seeing them again? Could I let my memories be erased and leave them behind with all the memories of me. 

I felt my body losing it's strength to hold me up the exhaustion was hitting from the sleepless nights, the nightmares, thinking about the trial for Ruy, Oralie being my mother. Everything was a mess, everything was falling apart in my head, I let Keefe guide me to the floor, as he runs his fingers through my hair. 

"Foster?" he says, his words finally breaking through my weary state, I don't really respond but I've stopped crying now. I slow my breathing, I need to be in control if I'm going to sort this mess out. 

"Relax, Foster it's okay just, breathe"  He whispered in my ear, his warm strong arms holding me together, reassuring me that we could get Ruy sent to Exile for his crimes, that we could finally stop being the pawns in everyone's game. 

It's time for the Moonlark to create her own rebellion, the Neverseen, Black Swan and the Counsel need something new to shake there world. Someone that wasn't a Pawn for any of them and that had her own team. 

I let my eyes close as I created a mental to do list for when I woke up to get my friends together and start making plans to stand up. I fell asleep knowing that Keefe was there, Ruy wouldn't be able to take me with Keefe here. 

...

A/n: 

Guess whose back??????

its a meh you're favorite torturous writer whatever. Im not dead surprise *jazz hands*

anyway please do tell what you think of this chapter going absolutely the opposite way I had planned. Hope you guys have a great day, night or enjoyable time of day whenever you read this newest chapter :>

-you're fearless onion leader