Mabuti na lang at dumating agad ang order naming dalawa kaya naputol saglit ang titigan at usapan namin.
Para akong hihimatayin sa kaba!
Should I tell him? He won't understand and he probably won't believe me if I do tell him.
Bakit siya maniniwala na ang isang sex worker na tulad ko dati ay nagkakaroon ng panic attacks sa tuwing naaalala ang pagsasamantala sa akin?
He would never believe me.
Tiningnan ko siya nang mas mariin ngayon dahil hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit gusto niya pang malaman kung bakit ako umalis, gayong humingi na nga ako sa kanya ng tawad.
Malumanay niya akong tiningnan, tila wala siyang pakialam kahit na galit ako at ibuhos ko sa mukha niya ang mainit na tomato soup sa harap ko.
"Cut the bullshit, Cyrus. I don't want to talk about it," mariin kong sambit.
"Baby, I just want to know," he whispered softly and looked at me with very gentle eyes.
Tang ina!!!
"What do you want, Cyrus?" naiirita kong tanong kasi paulit ulit e ayaw ko ngang pag usapan!
"The truth about why you left—"
"I already apologize! Can't you just fucking live with that?" I hissed.
Lumapit siya sa mukha ko, bahagyang yumuko sa mesa para makita ako nang mas malinaw. Napatigil ako sa paghinga. His eyes were sharp, an intense, probing glare that made me swallow hard.
"I don't need your apology. I don't even want you to apologize to me if what you did was for yourself! If you left me for your own sake, then I'm content with it, Rhian! I don't want you fucking apologizing and being sorry for choosing yourself at that time!"
"Oh? E 'yon naman pala—"
"I just want to know why you left," mataman niyang sambit.
Umiling ako habang natatawa. "Hindi mo naman maiintindihan kahit malaman mo pa–"
"Kailan ba kita hindi naintindihan?" putol niya sa akin. "Palagi kitang iniintindi. Mula noon, hanggang ngayon. Ikaw lang ang inintindi ko." Dumaan ang sakit sa mga mata niya.
"A-Anong sinasabi mo?" nahihirapan kong tanong. Hindi ko siya maintindhan, nahihirapan akong umintindi ngayon!
He chuckled without humor and shook his head. "Hindi mo ba talaga ako naaalala?" I saw his eyes glisten. Suddenly, I struggled to breathe properly.
"Citrus," he said like it was a clue for me. As if that one word meant something deep for the both of us.
Nakakunot lang ang noo ko, at ang mga luha ay nagbabadya na ring tumulo sa 'di malamang dahilan. Wala akong masabi. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya.
"Fuck," he muttered hoarsely. "What happened to you?" hurt didn't escape his voice. His eyes keep narrowing from every second.
I was lost for words. It felt like my mind went blank. I just simply didn't know what to tell him. All I can understand is that he's trying so hard not to cry and show his vulnerability to me.
Can you fucking imagine? A bulky military man, standing at least 6'3", is crying in front of me?
Yumuko siya at suminghot. His shoulders were shaking a bit.
"I have given you... time... and space... for five fucking years." He struggled to say those words. "And even years before that. I have waited long enough, Rhian. I have been patient enough. I suffered long enough too." He sobbed.
BINABASA MO ANG
Kissing the Agony (Agony Series #1)
RomanceRhian Amelie Bueron has always been weighed down by the judgments that come with her chosen path. In a world that rarely takes her seriously... be it in society, in life, or in love. She's learned to live with the whispers, the stares, and the sile...
