Ayaw kong maniwala sa mga sinasabi niya. It was... too good to be true. It was almost impossible. Pero hindi ko maitatanggi na lahat ng naririnig ko sa kanya, lahat sinasabi niya sa akin... lahat ng iyon... gustong gusto ko.
Masaya ako na hindi siya naghanap ng iba noong nawala ako, kahit na walang kasiguraduhan na babalik ako at pipiliin kong makasama siya. Masaya ako na hanggang ngayon... ako pa rin ang gusto niya, at wala nang iba o mas hihigit pa sa nararamdaman niya para sa akin.
Pero natatakot ako dahil alam kong hindi sapat 'yon. I won't be fully ecstatic by his side, even with all of my achievements in life, I won't be fully satisfied if his only family can't even bear to look at me.
My heart aches at the memory of his grandmother who seemed so disgusted with my mere presence.
Tinulak ko siya nang marahan at tinitigan nang maayos. Pilit kong iniiwasan ang mahulog sa malalambing niyang mga mata, mga matang sabik at nangungulila sa'kin. Napakagat siya sa labi, punong-puno ng pag-aalala ang mga mata niya, iniisip niya siguro na baka itulak ko na naman siya palayo.
"I can't make you choose between me and your grandmother, Cyrus." Umiling ako.
"Bakit kailangan kong pumili kung wala naman akong dapat pagpilian, Rhian? My grandmother understands what I want and that's you. She can't do anything about it, and I won't change my mind or my feelings just because it's more convenient to other people," mariin niyang sinabi. Humakbang na naman siya palapit sa akin.
"Ikaw ang pinili ko... Noon pa," mataman niyang sinabi habang ang mga mata ay madilim ang tingin sa akin.
My tears welled up. It was so satisfying to hear that from him.
Ayaw kong aminin na gusto ko siya. Pero... bakit ba ako nakakaramdam ng mga bagay na hindi ko naman nararamdaman noon? At sa kanya lang?
For years, I tried to run away from my past, including him. When all he did was to help me, to tend to my wounds and scars, to listen to all of my problems, to get through the hell I was supposed to live in.
Simula noon at hanggang ngayon, wala siyang ibang ginawa sa akin kundi maging mabait at pasensyoso. He lets me run away when I feel overwhelmed with my issues and my emotions. He gives me space so I could breathe, he lets me be... but he never lets me go. And honestly, I don't think he would.
He held my cheek and his thumb gently wiped the tear that successfully escaped from my eye. He looked pained as he did it.
"I don't want you crying because of me, Rhian. I won't forgive myself if you're hurt because of me," aniya, na parang handa siyang bugbugin ang sarili niya kapag siya ang naging dahilan ng pag iyak ko.
Umiling ako. "What about your grandma? She won't approve of me, Cyrus."
Ngumiti lang siya sa sinabi ko. Muli niyang hinawakan ang mukha ko, mas maingat ngayon. Parang ayaw niya akong matakot, ayaw niyang masaktan ako kahit sa haplos. This time, his eyes were softer, and he seemed happy.
"I already took care of that."
Kumunot ang noo ko at sinulyapan siya. "What do you mean?" Tinanggal ko ang mga kamay niya sa mukha ko.
"Cyrus... don't tell me you went against your grandmother just for me?"
There was fear in my voice, because as much as I wanted to be with him, I wasn't deserving to be fought for like that.
"What? No." Umiling siya at medyo natawa.
What does he mean? I don't understand!
"I already told you, I made her understand what I want. If she truly loves me as her grandson, she will accept who I love, and who I want to be with."
BINABASA MO ANG
Kissing the Agony (Agony Series #1)
RomanceRhian Amelie Bueron has always been weighed down by the judgments that come with her chosen path. In a world that rarely takes her seriously... be it in society, in life, or in love. She's learned to live with the whispers, the stares, and the sile...
